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https://preview.redd.it/2xivqwr2hdd51.jpg?width=275&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=505d5d62c794514322d7c810a28f66a86ffa028c
submitted by 27JJuldacket to u/27JJuldacket [link] [comments]


2020.06.18 04:29 forestfluff [TOMT][TV SHOW] What SNL skit is this from?!

I've had this photo of Bill Hader on SNL saved since 2011. I can't for the life of me find what sketch it's from!
I know it was parodying sex chat-lines like Lavalife but I feel like I'm googling all the wrong things to find this sketch? I even tried digging through an SNL transcript website.
Please help!
submitted by forestfluff to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]


2016.08.16 00:26 nonononoandno My experiences with online dating like CL, POF, Match, OKC, LL & e-H

My experiences with online dating sites.
I'm 46. I'm a fairly handsome man, tall, blonde, glasses, average body type, not fat nor slim, just a hint of a belly, and I have many times been told I have really good skin and look younger than my age like someone in their 30's. The only thing really hinting of my real age is my slightly receded hairline and the thing I guess could be working against me in some women's view is that I fancy a short beard and mustache. I'm straight, single, live at my own place and I have a job. I could easily go for just sex, but I am mostly out to find someone I could love and be happy with.
Ok, I realize this will draw a lot of heat on me right away, but the women I find around my age are almost all not attractive to me. A female who seems young, healthy and fertile telling my ape mind that her hip-waist-breast ratio still can bear me healthy children will grab my interest. So I find myself looking for mid 20's to early 40's, preferably still without children, and of course I'm shallow enough to not find women past due the look of youth or anything that announces fat attractive. At all. Not even skinny women in the target group that look weird in some way will get my attention. So I guess I am aiming for what every other dude targets as well. I know I got myself to blame on that, and that is ok.
But having been in a relationship for more than a decade I have not tried dating sites until now when my relationship finally ended. I say finally, it has been many bad years we still have stayed together even though we shouldn't, because of offspring and economic reasons.
Dating online nowadays really seem to suck. I did my research and tried the biggest ones on the market. I refuse to pay unless I see that something is worth paying for, and so far that is highly doubtful. What is worst are not even the bots or scammers, but the fact that no one even seems to look at my profile. I don't know if I am drowning in real dudes and fake accounts and land on page 127 of any woman's search, or what really is the problem, but someone should try to do something about it.
I tried Craigslist (CL) first. I put up an ad with a nice regular presentation of myself, no dick pics or standing flexing my muscles in the bathroom mirror with a hard on in my tight underwear, just a regular face & upper body pic of me smiling a bit awkwardly, since I'm far from used to taking selfies all the time. Well that resulted in one answer from some 19 year old Latina girl that fairly soon faded out to nothing. She gave me her number and when I called her she just annoyed me. I also looked at the existing ads. I mainly looked at the women seeking men (w4m) department since the casual encounters (wfm) seemed a bit too ... much for me. I even tried to meet up with a mid 20's girl I found there for pure sex, we talked over the phone for quite a while first and it seemed to go fairly ok, but she never had (succeeded in) sending me her picture, and when she came by her anatomy unfortunately revolted me since she was very much overweight. I guess I should have been less tactful on the phone and just straight out asked her if she was fat. We sat on my couch and talked for a while, her mostly staring straight ahead and not at me, and I had absolutely no desire to go any further, so she went back home. At least she was real and not just out for my money, although a little weird. I had mailed with another girl that had answered another of my CL ads for pure sex, but she wanted to set up some sugarbaby arrangement. Sorry, I'm just not really ready to pay for sex yet, my ego still insist on getting it for free.
I proceeded to use Plenty Of Fish (POF). I wrote a long detailed funny informative text about myself and what I wanted, but even though I have been there a while and visited and written quite a few ladies I hardly have had any responses. POF has a few tests (5) and I took the "Chemistry Assessment" to check it out. I have not really used it though so I can't say what I really think about it. The good of the site is that it obviously is free, you can send and receive messages and even perform advanced searches without being prompted to pay up. It also has this "Meet Me" feature where you can see pictures of women and rate them Yes, Maybe or No. A Yes or Maybe seems to put you on a Match list that if they liked your picture too gives you an alert that you have a mutual match. Not sure how great this is since I only have had 2 matches and they never replied to my outreach, but it's a feature... It is also free to see who viewed you. Quite a few it seems look at me but never write me. I'm not sure what I am doing wrong, but it is not working. Maybe I'm just not good looking enough for them. Or the fact that it is free and relatively easy to join and put in a profile means it is smack packed with competition.
Next one was Match.com that I've heard so much about. Fat disappointment. I am currently 3 days into testing the site on a 7 day free test account and I have at least 2-3 times the amount of interest from bots or scammers than from real people. Seriously, it's not a good site. There are a lot of profiles on there, and many of them attractive enough, but the main problem is all the spam. That plus that I still have only received 1 response on my 70 sent out messages. That response was also a single word response on one of my more stupid attempts to an outreach so it really wont count. I have also chatted with a couple "Nigerian princesses" and Olga from Russia that wanted money so they could come by and see me. What annoyed me most with the site is that it seems to be stuck in the 2000's with very small profile pics. I am on a big screen home computer and I have the space. They also have a chat feature, but it seldom give you any result nearby, which to me is surprisingly bad. The daily "matches" provided seems random as well and the infrastructure of the site is frustrating and unappealing to the eye. I will likely end my trial way before the 7 days are over, that's how bad it all is.
Next one was OkCupid. Finally a site that seems to take it all seriously. The site structure is modern and fluent. The design pleasing. And they have this multi questionnaire that if you answer enough questions is supposed to pair you up with potential partners that fit your specific mindset. I've answered 444 questions so far - I think it's rather fun - and I have a 99.8 highest match possible, although I found after googling it that that number is not necessarily related to an actual person in the database, just a mathematical possibility, I think the highest comparability number I've seen on a profile is 93%. They also have a Quickmatch function where you see the full profile of people and either X or * them for later that I find quite useful since it is time saving and practical. The site is mainly free but you can pay to get some extras like advanced filters for your searches. These filters include specific body types, attractiveness, personality - this one is quite an interesting feature actually, and matches to the answer on a specific questionnaire question. There are also some other advantages like that you can see who "likes" you (that Starred you instead of X-ed you), and the chat seems modern, spacious and functional. I noticed that if I searched for narrower age groups (like 35-35 years old) I got more of the high match results for this section than if I searched for 22-42. And there doesn't seem to be many fake profiles on, I only encountered 2 or 3 so far and then were quite obvious asking you to go to this or that site. And most profiles actually seem to have something written in them, to compare with POF and Match where many times the presentations were just one or two fairly blend sentences long. I only have a few wishes about this site, that you could get better search results on Match%, as well as that you could sort those results on how many questions they actually answered since if you have a 90% comparability rate with someone that only answered 5 questions it really isn't that reassuring on how great you would be for each other. And distance from you. Sort of a search within a search, inception. Having the first lines from the self summary popping up in searches somehow would also be great. The only problem I have with this site, as with all the others is that I simply don't seem to get a lot of hits. Even though I've been writing several women.
And when I say written I mean I tried every kind of approach, funny, stupid, pickup lines, commenting on their profile text, questions, even really long presentations pouring myself out, really trying to make an investment. But nothing.
Some of my first messages on these sites were: - Ok, hypothetical first date with me?: We smoke pot and have sex all night in a tent on a hike in Yosemite and then base jump from Point Hike the next morning before going back on my motorcycle? One to five stars of likelihood? - You seem really cool. Want to meet? - (to a 6ft tall girl) - Want to meet eye to eye some day? As long as you don't wear heels it shouldn't be a problem :D - (to a 93% Match) - Hi, we seem to have a fairly high comparability rate, care to check me out? - (to someone that said they were a Feminist, even had it in their profile name) - You keep namedropping Feminism but you don't really explain what value aspects of it you have. Just curious... - I'm not sure what to write here to get a reply. It seems like whatever I say it really doesn't matter. I guess that if you don't find my profile pic appealing enough I just have to accept silence, but it would be nice to try to pursue romanticizing you. - (to someone that claimed they were half Italian) - I went inter-railing in Italy in my teens. Milan, Verona, Rimini. Ate one of the most fantastic pizzas ever in Milan. WE came to Milan late at night and still with our backpacks on we went looking for a restaurant. We only found one, and going inside we see it had these white tablecloths, an indication it would be way above our budget. But the lady of the restaurant ushers us in and we comply. She starts putting all kinds of stuff in front of us, bread sticks, salad, stuff like that and we (try to) explain to her that we want the very cheapest she has, but she keeps saying calma, calma. She seems to have taken a liking to us. So we chill. We order our pizzas. And I get this pizza in front of me that has so much filling it would be enough for 3 pizzas. Just wow. I can eat a lot but this one I can hardly finish. Half way through I stop eating and the lady comes to our table and asks if it is alright, if the pizza is no good. Or at least that's how I interpret it. I let her understand that it is "perfecto", but I need to wait. She goes on with a smile - "Ah pause?!" And when we finally finished she brings us this great little bowl of fruit to finish it off with. I could not not finish it, did not want her to feel rejected, and it is really good, but man, when we finally leave (after only paying for the pizzas) I more like roll outside. - One time I created a female profile just for fun (and research) and I was amazed at the steady stream of pure crap and needy messages that kept coming in. So I feel you. Now, I am super cool though, so you shouldn't miss out on talking with me, unless you are a f***ing dull person that doesn't enjoy a good convo.
So to sum it up. OkCupid seems like the best bet so far. I also tried Lavalife (that had like 1 profile in my target group that had logged in within reasonable time) that I couldn't log into again next day, even though I tried it from two different browsers. eHarmony was another try, but since I wouldn't pay I couldn't see any profile pics, and it kinda lost it's point directly then.
But I still don't get anything for it. Going out on the local nightclub is actually much more likely to give result, at least for me. Maybe I should just take that bartender course and see if I can get a job behind the bar instead.
submitted by nonononoandno to OkCupid [link] [comments]


2013.02.02 21:30 Cr0okedFinger My experiences with online relationships

First was a “hearsay” relationship. My GF and I joined what was then a new online forum for Rev-War reeinactors. Over the first few months of the forum, a couple formed. The lady was a RL friend of my GF's. The guy lived several states away and was not known to us, but he knew his history and from his posts was definitely a reeinactor. Eventually my GF heard from her friend that she was flying out to meet this guy in person. She had planned on staying the weekend with him. Online they were quite a pair and seemed perfect for each other. But IRL, they didn't last an hour. She was actually disappointed in the first five minutes, but decided to give it a little more time, but after an hour, realized he was not the same person he portrayed himself online. She took the next flight home and the relationship ended. This was a months long relationship. She was in love with this guy. And it all went bust as soon as they met in person.
My personal experience:
In 2006, when I was 46, I had broken up with my long time GF and decided to see what I could find online. I tried a hookup site at first called Lavalife. Chatted with a few gals and started writing to one finally and almost made a date, but chickened out. I decided it would be better to find someone more compatable as a friend and not just for sex.
So after doing some research, picked a site that catered to my primary hobby, equestriansingles.com. That hobby is trail-riding on horseback. I own several myself. My experience with EQS was overall a good one. I was a member there for several years. I also tried OKCupid which was fun with all the tests, but never met any like minded ladies there. But on EQS I met six ladies over a six year period and dated each one. None of them worked out in the long run, but one of them did become a long term pen pal. Eventually I got back with the GF I'd broken up with in 2006 and have been back with her since 2010.
First real online relationship experience: Was on EQS. We were writing back and forth a lot. Finally after a couple of months I suggested we meet IRL. We agreed on a weekend date. I'd drive down to her. She lived 200 miles away. The day before the meeting, she emails me saying a trail-riding club she often visits, (Midwest Trailride) located in southern Indiana, had some storm damage and she was going to help them clean up and we'd have to reschedule for another time.
On Saturday morning I thought, what the hell, I'll call Midwest trailride and see if they needed more help. I'd never talked to this lady on the phone yet so had no way to contact her except through email. So I went online and got the phone number of Midwest and called them. They said sure, come on down. I figured I'd surprise my lady friend and working together would be a fun way to get to know each other better.
So I loaded up some tools in my truck, and made the 4+ hour drive to Midwest. I arrived around noon. Only staff was there. They said a couple of guys had shown up earlier in the day and had helped a bit, but no females. I showed them a picture of my lady friend and no one recognised her. They said maybe she's show up later in the day? So I stayed the rest of the day helping them clear fallen brush and tree limbs. Eventually it was getting dark and although they offered to let me stay in one of their cabins, I declined and drove home.
When I emailed this ladyfriend the next day, she had an excuse. Said a family member had gotten sick and she had gone to visit them and that's why she wasn't at Midwest. I figured she was lying since she had claimed to be a frequent visitor there and no one recognised her picture (I didn't tell her I'd shown them a pic of her). I stopped writing to her and never heard from her again.
This is when I learned the lesson of meeting IRL ASAP to make sure you are talking to a real person and not a poser.
Next experience. A more positive one, will be in another post.
submitted by Cr0okedFinger to wemetonline [link] [comments]


2006.04.26 13:44 zlajas Lavalife World Chat Launches on Skype

submitted by zlajas to reddit.com [link] [comments]


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