Online dating frustration

Oh wow, where to begin? 1. Ladies, common you really can’t pass off those photos from 2005 anymore. The photo quality alone gives it away. Plus you know you’ve probably changed at least a little bit in 13 years right? That’s strange I didn’t see t... Online Dating Frustration - I’m struggling to find love through online dating Online dating fatigue is a real thing and it’s happening to everyone. It's in our DNA. We don't search as often and we don't send ten emails to men every day. We don't respond first to that mutual match on a mobile dating app. That's too much male feeling for us. There are two entirely separate issues being discussed here: one is your frustration with online dating overall, the other is with the nuances of how it’s done. Let’s deal with them separately. First of all, I want you to consider all the other places that you could meet thirtysomething men in Los Angeles. Thru events from LA Weekly, thu ... Online Dating Frustration: It’s Going to Happen. There is a high degree of online dating frustration among men and women. You may have experienced it or even caused it with members of the opposite sex. I put the question out on a forum asking men and women what frustrates them about online dating. Frustration to talk about online recent trip to Ankor Frustration or — even better — dating a photo of you in front of Ta Prohm. Remember: the web is a visual medium. Photos that back up what you say in your profile will give you more appeal — and credibility — than just saying something. 11 Reasons Why Online Dating Can Be Frustrating After 40 January is the busiest month for online dating sites. Yet, many people over 40 will never sign up or quit after a short time. No matter the online dating frustration, or how long the dating drought, you are on the brink of love – if you don’t give up! 30+ And Divorced – A Fresh Start? Being a thirty-something and divorced did not seem like a promising start when I decided to try online dating. But I was determined to give it a try. Online Dating- Fun or Frustrating? I remember my first experiences with trying to put together an appealing (but not bragging) profile, writing an engaging and witty “About Me” section as well as trying to make it clear what type of guy would be a good complement to me.. All to discover that about 95% of men who came across my online profile never bothered to read my carefully crafted ...

Am I a jerk?

2020.09.21 08:03 TaylorMeredith Am I a jerk?

I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks. At first, he seemed okay. I mean, we were just friends. We'd talk on Snapchat.
He told me he had a girlfriend back in April. I didn't really text him much due to I mean, why text him? I didn't know him irl. I figured we'd matched on some dating app at some points.
He would always want to come to my house to spend the night, and I always said no. Why would he want that? Wouldn't it be weird? Made me feel weird. How would his girlfriend feel?
Like I said, I'd never met him in person.
Well, jump to present day. We started talking a few weeks ago. He said he was single and hadn't had a gf in a long time. I honestly question the said girlfriend in April even existed based off of his conversations with me and what I could dig online.
At first he seemed nice. I wasn't sure about a relationship, but said we could talk.
He lives close to three hours away so we couldn't just quickly visit.
With my schedule, I figured just planning a day to hang would be best.
I texted him one night about maybe going to get dinner one night. It was around midnight I guess when I texted him.
He was angry I wouldn't jump in the car and drive 2 1/2 hours to see him. I explained I had work and school the next day and could maybe that weekend. He kept pressuring me to just come now.
But that's too far, and I'd be exhausted. I explained I really wanted to hang, but maybe wait a few days.
That was weird. He went on and on about how hurt and let down he was. I barely knew him. I've dealt with shady people and bad guys. (I've been raped and almost sex trafficked before). I didn't want to go somewhere with someone I've never met in the middle of night and I had things to do the next day.
He was possesssive. If I didn't text back right away, he'd get frustrated and go on and on about communication.
Those kind of behaviors push me away. He constantly pressured me to drive down and see him. I said no. If he wanted to hangout so bad, he could come to my town and we'd grab dinner. He said no. No.
I have health issues. An autoimmune disorder. I had a really bad flare up this weekend. I was shaky, weak, fatigued and didn't feel safe to drive. I'm not medicated rn due to my endocrinologist failing to prescribe me more meds and won't answer my emails/calls (working on that) but I really wasn't feeling well.
He wasn't very understanding. I understand he's frustrated. But I'm not making my illness up. And really that was one little thing after another.
Only one ish week of talking and he's constantly getting mad at me for not replying fast enough, judging my friendships, and trying to Guilt me into driving down to see him.
I texted him tonight to say I wasn't interested in pursuing a possible relationship. Just lost feelings.
He got really mad at me. I had a friend help me compose a message and I really tried to be a nice as possible.
Am I jerk? I've maybe cut one other guy off. I never would've been happy with him. Felt like it was for the best.
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2020.09.21 05:28 larosha1 Online Dating Strikes Again

Since the whole Covid thing started I've been working from home and have a co-workefriend who I instant message with and she told me that she got engaged. Now of course I am happy for her. This was a guy she met through online dating. She started using online dating less than a year ago and met her fiance within two months. I would say she is a 6/7 on the looks scale and I remember when she downloaded the app that Friday, she came back the following Monday and told me that she had about 250 messages. Now if you eliminate perverted messages and other spam I'd say that is probably around 150 legit messages. I have been using online dating for about 5 years now off and on and she once told me she doesn't understand how I can't meet anyone. I didn't bother explaining to her that generally men and women have vastly different experiences. I wish her well and I'm happy for her but she gave me a close up view of how online dating is.
I'll be 40 in a few weeks and I honestly thought I would have a better chance now since I pretty much only message women in their late 30s to early to mid 40s. I guess they still get a lot of messages. I am average at best when it comes to looks and so far the best I've done is going on two dates with the same women.
One way I have streamlined things is to understand the reality. Of the women who respond to my messages, the ones who I actually will exchange numbers with/meet are 5% or less. Also if I see that a woman is sending short responses or isn't making an effort to try to get to know me or ask questions I just stop communication. I understand that women generally get more messages so I get why the vast majority never respond but I'll never understand why some seem to respond but make zero effort to get to know you. I guess there really are women who use online dating as some sort of an ego boost.
I honestly think all of us on here can meet someone but we are in what someone once described to me as the "borderline zone". So a woman may be willing to meet up with us for coffee but we have to be absolutely perfect and say all the right things because the least little thing could turn her off. I've had two friends in my life that would be considered "chads" and seeing them talk to women showed me how looks can go a long way with initial conversations. I had a friend who would say the silliest or goofiest things or would be up front and say that he lived with his parents and was unemployed (he was in his late 20s) and they still pursued a relationship with him.
Lastly, one major thing I learned with online dating is that if I can get to the point of a meetup just do coffee. The first three times I met up with a woman I met up for lunch and I paid, only to get the "you are a great guy but" text 30 minutes after the meal so now I just do coffee at first. I also learned that if they agree to meet you and then cancel without offering a different date, then don't bother. Like I said before, once I realized just how much attention women generally get (generally because there are female FAs) I stopped getting being frustrated. If things were reversed I would be very selective. Although I do remember someone saying that having lots of options can make you a bit of a jerk but I don't know if that is true.
I'm really happy for my co-worker, and honestly she really illustrated to me without realizing the massive numbers game that is online dating.
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2020.09.21 04:53 LeoIsAngry Ever feel like you’re in some cheesy , teenage romance struggle ?

I don’t know how take control over my own life so i just whine online, i AM an actual teenager though —
So i have this friend, let’s call her Claire in this I liked claire a little back then , she did too
— but just a little so we both weren’t sure , we both are not so committed and have trouble identifying our feelings
So she decided to take it really really slow At least until we’re sure we like eachother Anyways , claire has been meaning to introduce me to her friend —- Lara for a while but it got awkward everytime she tries to But that day , I met Lara —
not for the first time , but it was the first time I actually connected to her
I liked Lara so much , Platonically — remember, i had claire in my mind back then
But Lara just felt so similar to me it was really comfortable knowing her So, naturally, I introduced Lara to Ronald
, my childhood friend
Who she decides she likes a little , a realllyy little since Lara does not date , she enjoys the freedom and she has a lot going on
however , time passed and claire chose she doesn’t like me that way
And i understood , and not so long after i moved on
It took me less than I thought actually Anyways , our friend group still ships me and claire for the lols — it frustrates me sometimes , but for a very different reason
I used to think Lara doesn’t like ronald anymore , and we grew really close together Like , REALLY close still, platonic.
However, something strange’s happened and she started acting a little distant around me On the other side ,
Ronald knew how to play his cards and got closer to her and , i think i got jealous ? I don’t know if i like her or If im ALLOWED to I met her through my latest crush , introduced her to my childhood friend
Am i even allowed to feel jealous over her?
It left me confused, and seeing them together just gets me really uneasy
I kinda wish things would go back to how they were but
nobody knows about this and i wish I didn’t so that’s that
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2020.09.21 03:22 ADarkSpirit 31 [M4R] WI - Can I just say I hate being an adult sometimes? I can't be the only one.

Hi. Thanks for checking this out. I'll start out by saying I don't need help adulting; I need help dealing with adulting. Life gets so monotonous. Anyways, I'm starting my 4th year teaching, and it's... something. I love my job, but man, it takes a lot out of me. Especially with this pandemic, I fully expect that my life is going to be on repeat a lot. On weekends I spend my time catching up on sleep and housework, and grading (and streaming! lol). It's awful (the housework and grading, not the job). Work can definitely feel like groundhog day. Things run into each other and weekends are far too short to really enjoy anything. I'm developing a few negative habits already and want to nip 'em in the bud. Maybe you guys can help!
I'm just looking for some ways to pass the time and expand my social horizons. Have some positive interactions. Think deeper and gain some new perspectives. If you're far away, I'm happy to make an online friend (I do play some games, so maybe we can interact that way as well). If you're closer, I'm perfectly comfortable meeting up at some point when covid blows over. Also willing to move to texting or some other form of communication (just let me know what your preference is- I don't use every avenue of social media under the sun though!), or we can stay messaging here.
I'd consider romance (I am single, after all...) but by no means am I looking for it- just hoping to find some people to interact with- male, female, or other. Preferably no lizard-people but I'll try not to judge. I do try to teach compassion to my students, after all.
About me: Like the title says, I'm 31 and I'm starting my fourth year of teaching HS science. I really like what I do, but I'm pretty introverted so it's really exhausting work- being "on" 8 hours a day can definitely be a struggle. It's been hard to make friends as my city is not great for young singles- lots of older folks and married couples. Yucko. It's been like pulling teeth just trying to find people to hang out with! I love to cook, I like playing videogames (I basically spent my summer streaming), I garden/take care of my outdoor space (you know, when the ground isn't frozen...), I take care of myself (physically speaking), I enjoy a good beer or an old fashioned, and I talk to my cat (I promise he talks back). I'm pretty personable- which is weird for an introvert- and I enjoy talking about all sorts of things: science, philosophy, technology, games, work, life, love, happiness, whatever. Content to meet you at whatever level you're comfortable. Maybe you just want to trade memes- I'm down.
About you: You're interested in having lengthy conversations (or at least not stunted ones), willing to respond with reasonable frequency, and willing to entertain a real friendship if we click. Maybe you're near me and looking for a partner, or just someone to spend some quality time with. It's fine to be bored and want to chat for a while but please don't leave me hanging, that's a huge pet peeve. If you just want somebody to talk to for one night or whatever, just be honest tell me! I'll still chat. You're open and honest and can tolerate quirkiness and (occasionally dark or deprecating) humor. You aren't too judgmental (though I swear I'm not a weirdo). You're willing to share your individual, unique thoughts and aren't a walking cliche (dating sites are a giant dumpster fire in that regard, ugh).
I promise to put an honest effort into extending conversation, but that goes both ways- the couple of messages I've gotten from other people in the past tend to wane after a few days, and I find that really frustrating. I won't do that to you- I'll at least say that I'm very busy or that I'm not feeling it or whatever, but I won't leave you hanging! After all, I'm going to want to spend my limited free time doing something positive. Hope to hear from all kinds of people, since that's what keeps life interesting. Please let me know what you're interested in and comfortable with in your first message!
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2020.09.21 03:17 strayedoggo Is it a Lesbian Thing to get ghosted all the time or is is something just wrong with me?

So I recently started "dating" (online, because quarantine and whatnot) and so far it's been a depressing disaster. I apologize if this gets a little ranty. I'm just frustrated and confused. Below are a few of my most recent experiences.

So first, I started getting to know this girl I met online. We really clicked, I thought, and even "met" on facetime. Our conversations really flowed, and we were flirting almost constantly. Then, she ghosted me. Completely out of nowhere. It's been weeks now since I've heard from her.

Then, I connected with a girl on a dating app and within a day or so we had a date planned. Much like before, conversation flowed well and we shared many common interests. She seemed invested and was actually the one that asked me out. Then, she cancelled on me. Twice. In one week. When I finally heard from her, all I got was a half-hearted apology about how she's "just been busy lately."

Most recently, there was this lovely girl who, after we had chatted for a bit and both admitted to very much enjoying each others' company, asked me out on a date and wanted to plan this adorable picnic in the park for us. Last I heard from her (a few days ago) she said she would send me the location once she picks a spot. Our date was supposed to be last night and I still haven't heard a word from her.

Has anyone else experienced this? I'm just so lost. It just doesn't make sense to me to act so interested in someone and even go far enough as to plan a date and then just flake like that. If a person isn't attracted or interested in me I'd much rather they just tell me instead of leading me on like this. I'm really starting to lose hope and fear that I'm just not a likable person or something. Is this normal?
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2020.09.21 02:54 TheAusNerd Debris [Part 42]

[First] [Previous] [Next]
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<"Dude, I love playing that when I was a kid!"> said Wora exuberantly over video chat. <"I can't believe they still make it.">
Le'quaren, the only friend Wora could name that wasn't perpetually surrounded by criminals and thugs, sat smiling, cradling her newborn in her arms. <"Jell told me it's getting even more popular at the store he frequents, but he's concerned that if his friends find out he plays, he's never going to hear the end of it.">
Wora giggled. She remembered feeling the same way in her youth, spending a solid chunk of the allowance she received from performing chores to buy a pack of cards just for the feeling of anticipation and mystery. It was simpler then, better. Wora thought. <"Hey...">
Today's lunch was a lonely one for Behn. While a significant portion of the women went to have their bi-weekly video calls, she abstained, choosing instead to get in line for food that, without the rest of the prison lining up for their meals and bringing things to a crawl, was comparatively fresh. The food, surprisingly refreshing though it was, was no replacement for Wora's lively demeanour and barbs at the brainless programmes on the television, which the prisoners noted to now be flickering somewhat; the women expected their food to soon take another dip in whatever quality it had left.
At last, and with a tray on which she swore she could see the scrapings from the bottom of the greasy pot in which her meal was cooked, Wora arrived, throwing herself onto the bench beside Behn. The mood was immediately lifted. <"Hey, girl. What'd I miss?">
<"Just some weather boy waffling on about expected wind speeds during Chill Winds. They're gonna be high, but nothing we haven't survived before."> As she heard the young man read the weather report, part of Behn was glad that Arnd apparently spent most of her time in X'rtani House, she would be nice and warm there.
<"Huh. Oh! Did I ever tell you about that one time when my aunt slipped on an ice patch and fell down the stairs of her apartment complex?"> Behn shook her head. <"Yeah. She was fine in the end, nothing more than a few bruises, but she screamed like a damn siren until she hit the floor. A cop came bursting in looking for his buddy's cruiser, muttering that he didn't get a call for a crime in progress! When he saw my aunt, he damn near pissed himself!"> Wora chuckled heartily, and Behn couldn't help but be drawn in. The two women laughed so hard that they missed the opening to that day's episode of MarkWatch.
The pair watched a man too average-looking to form an opinion on confront Mark on a bus, and a thought came to Wora's head. <"Do you have anyone to call on the outside? Friends, family?">
Behn swallowed hard after she removed her gaze from the television and processed the question. <"No. I hadn't noticed I left it all behind until I realized who I was running with. And before you ask: no, I'm not calling my mother."> she clarified, dim resentment on her tongue.
<"You think she would've called by now, given what you've told me.">
<"She's busy doing gods know what with Mark and all that government crap, I wouldn't be surprised if it was years before she called to talk.">
Wora nodded along as only a friend would, recognizing that words were no good here, and returned to her meal.

<"You reckon he couldn't have gone shorter? Show some arm?"> asked Wora in relation to the tailored suit MarkWatch's presenters accurately predicted he had arranged for.
<"Meh, it's probably fashionable where he's from. It's not my business in any case."> replied Behn, squat lifting the weight of the average prisoner in the complex. It was simple. It certainly wasn't a heavy machine gun, two backpacks worth of ammo, malante plate body armor... <'No, gods damn it! You're past that! The violence is no more! Just squat and breathe, Behn.'> She squatted, she breathed, she felt her thighs grow warm with the effort, focusing on that helped her stay in the moment.
<"Behn?">
<"Sorry, I spaced out a bit, what'd you say?">
Wora pointed past Behn, whose gaze followed her friends finger. Four surly women, with enough muscle between them to convince Behn that they could bend the collective population of the prison into thick knots. They closed in and Behn put the barbell back on the rack. She and the quartet's eyes met, and the clear challenge was recognized.
<"So,"> began a X'etish woman who dwarfed the others. <"Miss Ex-Fang here's got 48 lifetimes, eh? Not bad, pint-size."> She giggled, her yellowed and chipped fangs on full display. <"See, there's something about multiple life sentences that I'm sure you know: You step out of line, and you're in solitary.">
<"I'm aware."> replied Behn, knowing exactly where this was going.
<"So then you know that you can't fight anyone, correct?"> the woman sneered, leaning down so her jaw was inches from Behn's face. Behn didn't notice a X'rtani woman slinking out of view.
<"Correct.">
The woman stood back up. <"Good.">
Behn was seized from behind, a second X'rtani clamping her jaw shut <"Don't go crying now."> she taunted. Wora hollered for the guards, only to be grabbed by the jaw and thrown to the ground by the X'eti, who roughly held her face to the floor. Struggle as she might, Wora was helpless and silent in witnessing Behn's right arm being held out by a X'ogan woman, her mouth warped into a savage grin. <"You learn that we're the bosses in this yard right quick, or..."> And with a visceral crunch that turned both Behn and Wora's stomach, the woman bit down on Behn's thumb, removing it at the base. She spat it on the ground and chuckled, her jowls splotched with bloody yellow. Behn, pain and disgust twisting inside her, swayed at the sight of her own blood. Finally, the guards arrived, detaining the perpetrators. Upon her attacker's seizure, gore-induced vomit spilled from Behn's newly unclamped jaw, and she staggered to the floor, lightheaded and queasy.
As the assailants were taken away, a guard administered basic first aid to Behn while calling for a medical team for the two victims. Before long, a team arrived with a mag-lifted bed for Behn, they immediately administered an anesthetic and antibiotics to the wound, and they rushed Behn off to the prison station's medical ward. Wora, her head throbbing, was helped off the ground by the guard who stood beside Behn, and was led from the yard as she explained the altercation.

Wora's impatience was not due to the aches she felt as her injuries were examined in the medical ward.
<"You appear to have a mild concussion and some bruising."> noted the doctor. The guard present relayed this information to her fellow officers in Wora's arm of the prison. <"There's no cure for a concussion but rest and limiting stimulus; no television, no major physical activity, and keep socializing to a minimum for the next few days. I'll have pills regularly sent to your cell to help with pain, and I'll arrange for your meals to be sent to your cell, too. In the meantime, I can provide you with a blindfold and earmuffs to help limit stimulus."> The physician filled out application forms as she spoke. <"You should begin to first see results in a few days, and I'll have you come in for an examination in seven days.">
<"Fine, cool, whatever."> said Wora. <"Is Behn going to be okay?">
<"Your cellmate? Due to patient confidentiality, I can't give that information away. But I'll ask her if it's okay, and we'll go from there.">
<"Yes, please."> Restlessness was thick in her tone.
The doctor blinked at her for a moment, before turning back to her computer. <"Alright. We'll arrange someone to visit you in your cell as soon as possible."> She turned to the guard, handing her the stimulus-limiting headwear. <"Shel, please escort Miss Lakk back to her cell, and be sure to take the quiet routes.">
<"Of course, Doctor. You heard her, get these on you and I'll get you back safe."> the officer held the blindfold and earmuffs out to Wora, who took them begrudgingly.
The blindfold didn't so much as blind Wora, but rather kept her vision dim, which she admittedly appreciated given her injury, the earmuffs too aided in the easing of her headache; they didn't help ease the throbbing she felt from her bruises, though.
When Wora arrived back at her cell, she saw some pills already arranged on her bedside table; they tasted like everything and nothing at the same time, she nearly gagged. After chasing her medication with some water, she slumped down onto the bed and dozed, her body seemingly responding to the doctor's orders.
She later woke with a start as a guard outside her cell called for her attention. <"Miss Kell? Miss Kolr would like to see you in the medical ward, I'm here to escort you.">
Wora didn't miss a beat, immediately following the guard through the passageways prisoners usually only got to see if they were in deep trouble, add-years-onto-your-sentence trouble. All the way, she was thankful for the headwear provided, and was finally deposited into the medical ward after an uneventful journey. A doctor, noticeably armed - it was a prison, after all - directed Wora to Behn's bed.
Behn laid propped up in a hospital bed with her eyes closed, grimacing in pain. Her right arm and hand were held still by braces as a tissue replicator went to work reattaching her thumb with new bone, muscle fibers, and skin weaved from their constituent components coded with her DNA, given in a sample taken from the shredded stump of her thumb. Wora noticed that a small curtain had been set up to block Behn's view of her automated operation.
<"Behn, it's me."> said Wora, sitting by her bedside.
Behn's eyes slowly opened, brightening when her friend came into focus. <"Hey sis. Wh-ugh, what's with the sleepwear?"> she asked sardonically.
<"Concussion, but I'll be fine. How about you?">
<"I should be okay, too. The doc said that this should take just fine, given that it's mostly a reattachment. At best, I'm looking at minor scars.">
Wora raised an eyebrow. <"And at worst?">
<"My body rejects the new tissue, my thumb falls off, and they try again."> Behn explained nonchalantly, as though the sight of such wouldn't result in her puking again.
<"Ah."> Though her tone didn't show it, in truth, Wora was truly relieved that her friend, despite her gruesome injury, was still in high spirits. One question remained, however. <"So, you're looking at a stint in solitary?">
<"Nah, enough of the girls in the yard vouched for me that I'm off the hook this time. I got told that those dry cunts are in lockdown for half a month and their pay's been slashed. Next time they jump someone, they're in solitary for a month, with an extra month for each following attack. And the best part, I now have express permission to defend myself from those four in future."> Behn giggled. <"I mean, so long as I don't break anything.">
<"Oh, thank the gods, I didn't want to lose you."> expressed Wora, not realizing until after she had said it that she said the quiet part out loud.
<"Aww, you would've missed me?"> Behn barbed.
Wora knew there was no backing out now. <"Of course, you dumbass! You're the only cellmate I can name that I've gotten along with.">
Listening to Wora lay herself bare, Behn couldn't remember the last time her presence made someone genuinely happy beyond her deft handling of a firearm. She smiled warmly and extended her uninjured arm toward her friend, placing her hand on Wora's knee. <"Hey, I'm not shut in a hole just yet, so buck up!">
Wora sighed, content. <"You're right. Just don't go scaring me like that again, okay?">
<"Sure, sis.">
<"So, how long did the doc say you'd be stuck here for?">
<"They reckon they'll see if this'll take in a day or so. If it does, I'm free to go. Well, as free as I can be on this rock, at least. I'll be back to see your lack of modesty again soon.">
Wora's expression grew smug. <"You know you love it."> she mocked.
Behn sniggered, transitioning into full on laughter when Wora mockingly began lifting her shirt. Wora joined in, letting the joy of the moment wash away any lingering doubts and worries. Now she knew that she, her friend, and their bond, was safe.
~~~
The bus glode smoothly past shop-lined streets as Mark stared out the window, attempting to map out the city in his mind while wondering where he could get a set of headphones built for his ears. It stopped outside a family-owned grocer to let waiting passengers board. Before the bus could take off again, a thin man carrying a basket of food approached Mark.
<"What're you doing here?"> he asked belligerently.
Mark was shaken from his window watching by the man's question. "Can I help you?" he asked politely.
<"This bus isn't built for you."> the basket-carrier stated with certainty. <"Get off.">
Mark blinked. "... Pardon?"
The man's already scowl-creased face scrunched further, his jowls parted just enough for a thin white line of fangs to be visible between his jaws. <"Are you mocking me? Get off the damn bus!"> he insisted, shooting a finger at the side door.
Mark knew then what was happening. He knew it would happen eventually, but he wasn't entirely prepared for the sensation of the event itself. Still, he retained his composure. "Please leave me be, sir." he said firmly.
The man, clearly knowing that he wasn't going to get his way alone, stormed up to the driver's seat and demanded Mark to be removed from the vehicle. <"Buddy, the guy ain't causin' no trouble. You leave 'em alone or you're walkin'."> the driver said matter-of-factly.
The man, finally understanding his place in the proceedings, shot a nasty look Mark's way, and stepped off the bus.

"That guy on the bus surprised me. I've noticed that nobody here's all that subtle, but nobody's been that forward thus far." said Mark, recounting yesterday's encounter with a concerned citizen on public transport.
Rilk'r, Mark's companion at the cafeteria table, nodded along to the human's retelling, aware of the encounter in question from today's episode of MarkWatch. <"Don't let 'em get to you. You really shouldn't have to put up with that shit, but if it's just a handful of belligerent dicks, you don't have much to worry about. You stay the course, and they'll get over it eventually.">
While Mark wasn't entirely convinced, stressing over factors out of one's control did little good. "Yeah."
The conversation paused as the two men dug into their lunches, picking up again when Rilk'r asked: <"So, how's that gym treating you?">
"Pretty well, actually. It's a bit stuffy, but I can't complain too much. I imagine you learned about that from the news?"
Rilk'r looked hurt. <"The news? I helped put the damn thing together!">
Mark choked on his water, drawing eyes from employees that he had hoped would be used to his presence by now. "Wait, really? You never told me!"
<"I like my customers to leave their reviews after they've put my work to the test."> Rilk'r said smugly.
"Heh. Well, I've certainly seen worse equipment." He would never forget that one squat rack in Anytime Fitness that fell apart the instant he re-racked his bar.
Rilk'r chuckled. <"Glowing praise, that.">
And once again, the two men put their chat on hold while they ate. Rilk'r cleaned his tray before Mark, to neither's surprise, and waved as he returned to work. Uns'la pointed a finger gun as she linked up with Rilk'r, Mark returned it. As his tray neared empty, Arnd, who too was using the break in the day's lesson to eat her fill, came up to the table.
<"You think you could pick up the pace a bit? We still have the last decade of the Crisis of the Peaks to cover, and I don't want it spilling into my free day."> she asked, the tapping of her foot on the tiled floor akin to a metronome with no patience for rhythm.
"What do you think I'm doing?" replied Mark, now shoveling his gravy-soaked wobunil chunks into his mouth at as fast a pace as their size allowed. Before long, and with many painful attempts to swallow mouthfuls in excess of his throat's capacity, Mark emptied his tray. He also made a mental note to, if he ever made it back to Earth, tell Percy about that time he almost took too much meat for his throat to handle, giggling childishly to himself.
After he quickly gulped down water from a paper cup, Mark was ready to return. Arnd watched impatiently as Mark nodded to the guard stationed outside the bar, with her impatience morphing to simple annoyance when Mark paused to pull out his data pad. This annoyance turned to frustration when Mark turned on his heels and walked back toward her.
"I gotta go, T'aro wants me in R&D immediately. We'll pick up with Crisis when I get back." And with that, Mark was off toward the elevators and Arnd was left watching him go.
Jan'u came up to her, licking his jowls clean of gravy. <"What's he up to now?">
Arnd deflated. <"Doesn't matter. Come on, Nelert's Bones is out and I wanna see if it lives up to the trailers.">

Beneath the mountain, with K'ul stalwart by his side, T'aro paced, second-guessing whether this was a good idea.
Yesterday, as the moon shone as a silver crescent high above the city, T'aro oversaw the first test of a circular bone saw attachment to F'ejen's shield-focused surgical tool. The device whirred, the multitude of tiny energy blades blurring together to form a single, uniform disc of light at the tip of the apparatus. With precision, F'ejen lowered the device down on to, in absence of replicated human bone, a plate of what T'aro dubbed 'Malante Squared', a substance that acted as a less refined, less dense x'erren attempt at N.L.N.A, the substance that comprised the hull of Mark's detached cockpit. Upon contact, the saw squealed as it battled its target, but both it and F'ejen held firm, and the doctor soon excavated a near-perfect square from the mass. A few moments after F'ejen shut the device off, he was told that this attachment too passed safety and stability tests. F'ejen nodded proudly at this victory and ticked off yet another test on his notepad he pulled from his breast pocket; thus far, among other tools, he had successfully tested: a scalpel with adjustable length, a needle tip, a drill, and scissors.
F'ejen stepped out of the testing room, discarding his gloves and shoes, and loosing his ears. <"Well, what's next on the docket?"> he asked, softly massaging his aching ears.
<"Staples. Although how you plan on making this work, I have no clue."> replied T'aro, looking over the list of planned tools.
Listening to T'aro launch into further detail of the task's complications, F'ejen couldn't help but think. <"So, remind me; Mark's more or less on your side now?">
<"He promised that the antics were over, so ostensibly, yes.">
<"... Then shouldn't you tell him about all this?"> asked F'ejen, gesturing to the testing room where a team was examining the surgical apparatus.
T'aro looked at the doctor in stunned disbelief. <"Out of the question. If you've read Mark's contract, and I know you have, you'll know he has the legal right to shut this entire operation down at any time he so wishes. The instant he sees us developing this technology, I've no doubt in my mind that his first act would be to demand that development ceases. His second would be to demand a release from his contract, which is also his legal right.">
<"I take it then he still doesn't trust us?">
<"He said so himself."> said T'aro pointedly.
<"And do you think he'll trust us any more if we continue keeping secrets?"> questioned F'ejen, turning to face the administrator.
T'aro turned in kind. <"I am the director of this project and I will not be questioned.">
<"I have been a surgeon since before you came of age."> the doctor stated firmly, letting his experience drive his words. <"I have worked at many hospitals and have tended to very many patients. The longer you lie to a patient, even if the lie is entirely for the patient's benefit, the harsher they react when the truth comes out. When Mark tried to escape, he was in a panic, trying to tunnel away from the force he thought he could not fight. But what do you think he'll to do now that he's come to know us, to adapt to us? I know you have the means to bring him in again, but none of them are quiet enough for you to get away with it."> F'ejen leaned in, craning his neck upward to get face-to-face with his junior. <"You open up now, or the decades you've spent on this project go up in smoke.">
T'aro could say nothing to the physician as he produced a pack of lija from his pocket, bit down on a pod, and ambled out of the room saying that he was going to bed. T'aro stood blinking into the silent air for a few long minutes after the doctor had left, before deciding: <"Not the samples, that's too far.">

T'aro's pacing and fretting was interrupted by Mark rounding the corner into R&D, his face a portrait of curiosity and apprehension. "You called?" he said flatly.
T'aro straightened. <"Yes, I did. I'm glad you could make it so promptly.">
Mark shrugged. "You said immediately. So, what's up?"
T'aro turned, gesturing Mark to follow. <"As you well know, I wouldn't be doing my job as head of extraterrestrial affairs if I didn't look after the health of those that fall under my jurisdiction. I've already made steps to accommodate this in providing you proper nourishment and the personal gym - which I've noticed you've taken quite a fancy to."> Mark nodded, he would be lying if he denied his enjoyment of having regular, challenging exercise as part of his daily routine again. <"Regardless, this is just the surface; I'm frankly shocked you've not yet fallen ill, I'll chalk that up to your immune system being just as hardy as your body. That body, Mister Stevens, however durable, is still mortal. If you were to suffer an injury, it would need to be tended to. You could recover from nicks and bruises on your own, but more severe injuries: broken bones, deep lacerations, etcetera, those would require medical attention, even surgery.">
Mark didn't know whether or not to ease himself now that the man was getting to the damned point, as said point's subject matter put him on edge.
<"Unfortunately,"> T'aro continued. <"The same implacable nature of your physiology that keeps you safe from the same rounds that would put a hole in a x'erren man large enough to stick one's hand through, would similarly keep standard surgical tools from being able to do their work. Thus, when doctor Rour brought forth the idea of using projected shields in place of metal or glass blades, I had to jump at the chance.">
With impeccable timing that told Mark that T'aro had thoroughly rehearsed this speech of his, the X'erren gestured Mark through a door to his left. Upon entry, Mark realized that his initial mixed feelings were nothing compared to what he felt looking upon the implements in person, their pristine, rounded forms catching the light in a way that made them look both sacred and profane, and they weren't even turned on!
T'aro stood beside the human. <"As you can see, we've developed a range of attachments, with more on the way. I understand any apprehension you may have, Mister Stevens, but you must understand that without this, there is no way for anyone in x'erren space to aid you should the need arise.">
"... Have you tested these?"
<"On varying metals, yes. And I can confirm that these tools are up to the job.">
"Then, may I see them in action?"
T'aro knew not to ease himself just yet, but part of him was glad that Mark remained at least outwardly calm. <"If I can manage to rouse doctor Rour, then yes.">
In the tense calm following T'aro's message to F'ejen, Mark found his eyes always drifting toward the assortment of attachments laid out on the table beyond the viewing window, and tried to fit each adapter to a purpose. He was in the middle of inspecting the needle tip when the door opened to F'ejen, who, upon seeing Mark, immediately sported a smile.
<"Mark! How are you?">
"Just fine, thanks."
<"Mister Rour! Glad you're here. Now, shall we begin the demonstration?"> said T'aro as though yesterday's conversation never happened.
<"That we shall."> replied F'ejen in kind.
And after F'ejen donned his surgical garb, he did just that, lighting the space and filling the air with the sound of humming shields projectors and screeching metal as he sliced, drilled, and punctured a sheet of malante2. All the while, T'aro explained the substance's origin, reminding Mark that, given its nature as a recreation of an entirely human creation, he could shut down its production and research thereof at any moment. Mark politely declined.
Before long, each tool, including the staples, had been demonstrated in full, and F'ejen rejoined the pair in the viewing room. <"So,"> he said. <"what do you think?">
Mark thought a moment. "I think that this is not only a brilliant piece of tech, but that it exists for my sake is very considerate of you both." His words, while genuine, were tinged with doubt, something that his x'erren listeners were all too aware of. "I do wish, however, that you would have notified me beforehand, for both the tools and the metal."
F'ejen and T'aro apologized for their lack of foresight and, with a gesture from Mark that he was satisfied with the showcase, followed him out into the hallway.
As the trio made their way back to the surface, K'ul keeping stride with T'aro, Mark tapped F'ejen on the shoulder. "Hey, are you free for a bit? I have some questions I'd like to ask."
<"Of course, we can talk over lunch.">
T'aro was mildly distressed at the apparent desire for him to not be present, but he understood. He stopped the pair, telling them to go on without him as he had to oversee maintenance performed on the gym. He watched as Mark and F'ejen rounded a corner and hoped for the best.

F'ejen returned to the cafeteria table with a small mantan leaf wrap, understanding that Mark went without food because he had already ate. <"So, bud, what do you need to know?">
Mark had loosened somewhat in T'aro's absence, but still hesitated slightly when asking. <"Are those tools really for surgery?">
The doctor paused mid-bite. <"I brought up the idea of using shields as a substitute for metal, why wouldn't they be for surgery?">
"I know, but that's not what I meant. It's more..." Mark looked around to see if anyone suspicious was watching. "Are they really there to mend injuries, are they really there to help me?"
F'ejen laid his wrap down, sighing in understanding. <"Look, man, I get that you don't trust T'aro, I wouldn't trust him either after what he's pulled. But I can tell you straight that this is legit. You can trust this.">
Mark didn't know if he felt any better after having it said to him so plainly. "I just hope they never have to be used."
<"No true surgeon ever wants their tools to leave storage. If I had my way, everyone would always be healthy and surgery would be a dead field."> He bit into his wrap, and Mark agreed.
~~~
Du'fra stepped out through the hospital's front doors, a prescription for pain medication in his hand and a thick cast on his arm. It took time and a lot of pain to realign the halves of his shattered forearm, and by the time the cast was on, the doctors had confirmed that this level of damage could take at minimum four months to heal, and years to regain full strength once he had the internal plates and pins removed. Before he left the ward, he opted to hire a Spare Hand: a robotic arm strapped to one's shoulder controlled by brainwaves monitored by a small headpiece, to replace one's out of commission arm while it healed, held aloft in a sling. Healthcare was a dream in Ta'X'rtana, and thus the only money that left Du'fra's coffers was the hire fee for the Spare Hand, and a handful of chump change for a surprisingly good hospital meal on his way out. He finished his meal in the office courtyard, carelessly tossing the container aside when his taxi arrived.
As the vehicle navigated the city's airspace, Du'fra checked his cruiser's tracker, and found it to be impounded in a lot across town. He decided that it could rot there for all he cared, he still had the cruiser he got in his divorce. He was both shocked and glad that the parasites now sitting in the executive chairs at X'rtan Freight hadn't stolen anything from him while he was out. With that thought, he searched The Flow for any news pertaining to X'rtan Freight, and came by an article reporting on the new Acting Chief Vuk'li's ascension to the top of the company and his donation of 500 billion ker'se to the Men-te Relief Fund to commemorate his rise. <"That brakk fucker worked in marketing before he was hired there, of course he'd pull a stunt like this."> growled Du'fra. In his fury, he instinctively reached out for a pack of first-grade lija pods, and remembered the one thing in his old cruiser that he would miss.
Errant dust was blown off the rooftop by the taxi's arrival to Du'fra's apartment. Air-capable taxi fare took a bigger bite out of one's pockets than a standard ride, but Du'fra didn't care. Once inside his building, Du'fra quickly reminded himself where the set of keys to his ex wife's cruiser were, and then got to work. Where it once felt drab and lifeless, his office now felt fresh, given its new purpose. Typing with an artificial hand was awkward despite the practice doctors mandated before Du'fra could take it home with him, and he continually made spelling errors that served only to add to his mounting frustrations. Even with this new complication, however, it didn't take long for Du'fra to find what he was looking for.
Arnd Kolr's online life was scarce. All Du'fra could dig up was a seldom used Conclave account, the last activity of which was to trawl the forum of a middlingly popular book series and the account of her work hard-play hard daughter. A daughter that, with a quick search, Du'fra found to be in prison for gang activity dating back years. Familial association was not proper grounds for legal action, though, so he had to find another avenue. From news sources, he read claims that she was either hired by the government or arrested and held in X'rtani House until further notice. All Du'fra knew as of yet was that she, in her current position, was effectively untouchable. At least, if Du'fra was alone. It was common knowledge among those who did any cursory research that Arnd had close ties to Mark, someone who, though protected, was in a state of political flux, with talks going back and forth regarding the alien and how to handle him. And if politicians listened to anything, it was money, and significant public outcry.
And thus, the plan was simple: Either through generous donations, the outspoken voices of concerned citizens, or a mixture of both, swing the Council in opposition to Mark, destabilizing his and therefore Arnd's position. This should result in numerous investigations being launched, the likelihood being high that at least one would uncover the connection between Arnd and Vuk'li, putting Vuk'li's position in jeopardy and likely landing him with fines and jail time. The resulting controversy should put immense pressure on him, leaving nothing left to do but keep the pressure up until he resigns. It was elegant in its simplicity.
The only problem was getting started. He would have to be smart with his donations, hitting the sweet spot between being too small to notice and too large to be innocent. And thus he knew to start with his alternative solution; he would have to track down an anti-Mark group. But he was still weary from his surgery, and he wasn't too concerned with losing a day of progress, and decided instead to kick his feet up and relax, maybe fall asleep to reruns of that one talk show with the cute young presenter.
Prime kurjan ribs delivered to his door and top shelf X'ogan reed wine were the night's menu, with entertainment courtesy of one Wer'eled, a host who seemed determined to wear the thinnest and loosest fabric the censors would let her get away with. As Du'fra indulged, his mind drifted back, as it always would on nights like these, to the days of his relative youth. He was a 34 year old up-and-comer at X'rtan Freight after acing his interview for administrating light post in central Ta'X'rtana and surrounds, with a brand new studio apartment financed by his father, and a charming young woman to call his own: Ber'a Neyil. She had energy exploding from every inch of her tiny body and could talk her way in and out of damn near anything, which was useful skill for a saleswoman. On glorious, youthful nights when they were both tired from work and needed release, Ber'a was known to signal the beginning of the night's events by sporting a lacy gown and demanding that Du'fra follow his instincts. Looking back, Du'fra could name little else he enjoyed from his marriage. Time wore on and things grew comfortable, Du'fra couldn't be more content. Ber'a, however, viewed her continued entrenchment in a cozy routine to be increasingly stale, and sought an escape by suggesting to move away from the city. Du'fra disagreed, and thus the couple engaged in their first fight, with tempers and moods only worsening from there. Though it felt like an eternity of squabbling and growing resentment, only a few months had passed since that initial spat before divorce papers were being signed. By that point, Ber'a was more than done with Du'fra, not caring if he kept her cruiser. Du'fra never saw her again. Every time he reminisced on his marriage, Du'fra debated whether or not staying was a good idea, before shrugging and continuing on with whatever he was doing.
Stars twinkled faintly in the gaps between moonlit clouds, and Du'fra began to drift, slowly, into the waiting arms of sleep.

Day broke, and Du'fra was jolted awake by a sudden pain in his arm, the surgeon warned him about that. His unhooked the Spare Hand from his shoulder, the throbbing he felt was an indication that he should probably take it off before he goes to sleep in future. Breakfast was pe'ka pieces drowning in lija sauce that disappeared down Du'fra's gullet with grotesque haste, there was work to do. Simply typing Mark Stevens into a search bar brought up more results than he knew what to do with. Forums arguing back and forth over why he was on Kerc-en and whether or not he should be allowed to roam free; the supremely tacky MarkWatch page that practically begged him to appear on the show; and, oddly enough, a site claiming to 'spread truths' that would have a hard time convincing even the most hardcore conspiracy theorists. If the government was trying in earnest to kill Arnd, then how in the scream-rent flaming air of the Pit was she still alive? Laughable nonsense. Still, his search bore some fruit, with mentions of live meetings to debate all matters Mark, with an unsubtle negative lean in the poster's text. This, he could use.
The doorbell beeped, pulling Du'fra out of his concentration. He strapped on his Spare Hand and went to answer. The door opened to a police officer whose expression was nothing but business. <"Mister Du'fra Neem?"> he asked.
<"Yes.">
The officer glanced slightly to the left. <"Do you have a permit for that apparatus?">
Du'fra quickly flashed the document in question. <"Might I ask what this visit is about, officer?"> He knew he would get the answer either way, but asking helped his confidence.
<"You have been summoned to attend a hearing at the Central Municipal Tribunal, to determine your sentence for your engagement in an illegal Kre'gadol duel. This hearing will be undertaken on the 15th Dawn of Se'te. The full details are listed in this document."> With form befitting a man in uniform, the lawman presented an envelope.
Du'fra took the envelope only because waiting to let the situation sink in would take too long. The officer nodded, and left, the door slamming shut in his wake. A thorough reading of the summons told Du'fra that everything was as standard: He and the other guilty party were to each present a defense either with their own lawyers or lawyers provided by the state, with expected sentences ranging between two to seven months. At the mention of a month shy of an entire year being snatched away from him, Du'fra's grip tightened on the paper. However, he knew that he would have to face this some day soon, and he had slowly been steeling himself ever since he declared the duel that fateful night. Now, he knew there was no turning back, and he was prepared to learn just how much he was willing to pay for justice.
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2020.09.21 02:54 TheAusNerd Debris [Part 42]

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<"Dude, I love playing that when I was a kid!"> said Wora exuberantly over video chat. <"I can't believe they still make it.">
Le'quaren, the only friend Wora could name that wasn't perpetually surrounded by criminals and thugs, sat smiling, cradling her newborn in her arms. <"Jell told me it's getting even more popular at the store he frequents, but he's concerned that if his friends find out he plays, he's never going to hear the end of it.">
Wora giggled. She remembered feeling the same way in her youth, spending a solid chunk of the allowance she received from performing chores to buy a pack of cards just for the feeling of anticipation and mystery. It was simpler then, better. Wora thought. <"Hey...">
Today's lunch was a lonely one for Behn. While a significant portion of the women went to have their bi-weekly video calls, she abstained, choosing instead to get in line for food that, without the rest of the prison lining up for their meals and bringing things to a crawl, was comparatively fresh. The food, surprisingly refreshing though it was, was no replacement for Wora's lively demeanour and barbs at the brainless programmes on the television, which the prisoners noted to now be flickering somewhat; the women expected their food to soon take another dip in whatever quality it had left.
At last, and with a tray on which she swore she could see the scrapings from the bottom of the greasy pot in which her meal was cooked, Wora arrived, throwing herself onto the bench beside Behn. The mood was immediately lifted. <"Hey, girl. What'd I miss?">
<"Just some weather boy waffling on about expected wind speeds during Chill Winds. They're gonna be high, but nothing we haven't survived before."> As she heard the young man read the weather report, part of Behn was glad that Arnd apparently spent most of her time in X'rtani House, she would be nice and warm there.
<"Huh. Oh! Did I ever tell you about that one time when my aunt slipped on an ice patch and fell down the stairs of her apartment complex?"> Behn shook her head. <"Yeah. She was fine in the end, nothing more than a few bruises, but she screamed like a damn siren until she hit the floor. A cop came bursting in looking for his buddy's cruiser, muttering that he didn't get a call for a crime in progress! When he saw my aunt, he damn near pissed himself!"> Wora chuckled heartily, and Behn couldn't help but be drawn in. The two women laughed so hard that they missed the opening to that day's episode of MarkWatch.
The pair watched a man too average-looking to form an opinion on confront Mark on a bus, and a thought came to Wora's head. <"Do you have anyone to call on the outside? Friends, family?">
Behn swallowed hard after she removed her gaze from the television and processed the question. <"No. I hadn't noticed I left it all behind until I realized who I was running with. And before you ask: no, I'm not calling my mother."> she clarified, dim resentment on her tongue.
<"You think she would've called by now, given what you've told me.">
<"She's busy doing gods know what with Mark and all that government crap, I wouldn't be surprised if it was years before she called to talk.">
Wora nodded along as only a friend would, recognizing that words were no good here, and returned to her meal.

<"You reckon he couldn't have gone shorter? Show some arm?"> asked Wora in relation to the tailored suit MarkWatch's presenters accurately predicted he had arranged for.
<"Meh, it's probably fashionable where he's from. It's not my business in any case."> replied Behn, squat lifting the weight of the average prisoner in the complex. It was simple. It certainly wasn't a heavy machine gun, two backpacks worth of ammo, malante plate body armor... <'No, gods damn it! You're past that! The violence is no more! Just squat and breathe, Behn.'> She squatted, she breathed, she felt her thighs grow warm with the effort, focusing on that helped her stay in the moment.
<"Behn?">
<"Sorry, I spaced out a bit, what'd you say?">
Wora pointed past Behn, whose gaze followed her friends finger. Four surly women, with enough muscle between them to convince Behn that they could bend the collective population of the prison into thick knots. They closed in and Behn put the barbell back on the rack. She and the quartet's eyes met, and the clear challenge was recognized.
<"So,"> began a X'etish woman who dwarfed the others. <"Miss Ex-Fang here's got 48 lifetimes, eh? Not bad, pint-size."> She giggled, her yellowed and chipped fangs on full display. <"See, there's something about multiple life sentences that I'm sure you know: You step out of line, and you're in solitary.">
<"I'm aware."> replied Behn, knowing exactly where this was going.
<"So then you know that you can't fight anyone, correct?"> the woman sneered, leaning down so her jaw was inches from Behn's face. Behn didn't notice a X'rtani woman slinking out of view.
<"Correct.">
The woman stood back up. <"Good.">
Behn was seized from behind, a second X'rtani clamping her jaw shut <"Don't go crying now."> she taunted. Wora hollered for the guards, only to be grabbed by the jaw and thrown to the ground by the X'eti, who roughly held her face to the floor. Struggle as she might, Wora was helpless and silent in witnessing Behn's right arm being held out by a X'ogan woman, her mouth warped into a savage grin. <"You learn that we're the bosses in this yard right quick, or..."> And with a visceral crunch that turned both Behn and Wora's stomach, the woman bit down on Behn's thumb, removing it at the base. She spat it on the ground and chuckled, her jowls splotched with bloody yellow. Behn, pain and disgust twisting inside her, swayed at the sight of her own blood. Finally, the guards arrived, detaining the perpetrators. Upon her attacker's seizure, gore-induced vomit spilled from Behn's newly unclamped jaw, and she staggered to the floor, lightheaded and queasy.
As the assailants were taken away, a guard administered basic first aid to Behn while calling for a medical team for the two victims. Before long, a team arrived with a mag-lifted bed for Behn, they immediately administered an anesthetic and antibiotics to the wound, and they rushed Behn off to the prison station's medical ward. Wora, her head throbbing, was helped off the ground by the guard who stood beside Behn, and was led from the yard as she explained the altercation.

Wora's impatience was not due to the aches she felt as her injuries were examined in the medical ward.
<"You appear to have a mild concussion and some bruising."> noted the doctor. The guard present relayed this information to her fellow officers in Wora's arm of the prison. <"There's no cure for a concussion but rest and limiting stimulus; no television, no major physical activity, and keep socializing to a minimum for the next few days. I'll have pills regularly sent to your cell to help with pain, and I'll arrange for your meals to be sent to your cell, too. In the meantime, I can provide you with a blindfold and earmuffs to help limit stimulus."> The physician filled out application forms as she spoke. <"You should begin to first see results in a few days, and I'll have you come in for an examination in seven days.">
<"Fine, cool, whatever."> said Wora. <"Is Behn going to be okay?">
<"Your cellmate? Due to patient confidentiality, I can't give that information away. But I'll ask her if it's okay, and we'll go from there.">
<"Yes, please."> Restlessness was thick in her tone.
The doctor blinked at her for a moment, before turning back to her computer. <"Alright. We'll arrange someone to visit you in your cell as soon as possible."> She turned to the guard, handing her the stimulus-limiting headwear. <"Shel, please escort Miss Lakk back to her cell, and be sure to take the quiet routes.">
<"Of course, Doctor. You heard her, get these on you and I'll get you back safe."> the officer held the blindfold and earmuffs out to Wora, who took them begrudgingly.
The blindfold didn't so much as blind Wora, but rather kept her vision dim, which she admittedly appreciated given her injury, the earmuffs too aided in the easing of her headache; they didn't help ease the throbbing she felt from her bruises, though.
When Wora arrived back at her cell, she saw some pills already arranged on her bedside table; they tasted like everything and nothing at the same time, she nearly gagged. After chasing her medication with some water, she slumped down onto the bed and dozed, her body seemingly responding to the doctor's orders.
She later woke with a start as a guard outside her cell called for her attention. <"Miss Kell? Miss Kolr would like to see you in the medical ward, I'm here to escort you.">
Wora didn't miss a beat, immediately following the guard through the passageways prisoners usually only got to see if they were in deep trouble, add-years-onto-your-sentence trouble. All the way, she was thankful for the headwear provided, and was finally deposited into the medical ward after an uneventful journey. A doctor, noticeably armed - it was a prison, after all - directed Wora to Behn's bed.
Behn laid propped up in a hospital bed with her eyes closed, grimacing in pain. Her right arm and hand were held still by braces as a tissue replicator went to work reattaching her thumb with new bone, muscle fibers, and skin weaved from their constituent components coded with her DNA, given in a sample taken from the shredded stump of her thumb. Wora noticed that a small curtain had been set up to block Behn's view of her automated operation.
<"Behn, it's me."> said Wora, sitting by her bedside.
Behn's eyes slowly opened, brightening when her friend came into focus. <"Hey sis. Wh-ugh, what's with the sleepwear?"> she asked sardonically.
<"Concussion, but I'll be fine. How about you?">
<"I should be okay, too. The doc said that this should take just fine, given that it's mostly a reattachment. At best, I'm looking at minor scars.">
Wora raised an eyebrow. <"And at worst?">
<"My body rejects the new tissue, my thumb falls off, and they try again."> Behn explained nonchalantly, as though the sight of such wouldn't result in her puking again.
<"Ah."> Though her tone didn't show it, in truth, Wora was truly relieved that her friend, despite her gruesome injury, was still in high spirits. One question remained, however. <"So, you're looking at a stint in solitary?">
<"Nah, enough of the girls in the yard vouched for me that I'm off the hook this time. I got told that those dry cunts are in lockdown for half a month and their pay's been slashed. Next time they jump someone, they're in solitary for a month, with an extra month for each following attack. And the best part, I now have express permission to defend myself from those four in future."> Behn giggled. <"I mean, so long as I don't break anything.">
<"Oh, thank the gods, I didn't want to lose you."> expressed Wora, not realizing until after she had said it that she said the quiet part out loud.
<"Aww, you would've missed me?"> Behn barbed.
Wora knew there was no backing out now. <"Of course, you dumbass! You're the only cellmate I can name that I've gotten along with.">
Listening to Wora lay herself bare, Behn couldn't remember the last time her presence made someone genuinely happy beyond her deft handling of a firearm. She smiled warmly and extended her uninjured arm toward her friend, placing her hand on Wora's knee. <"Hey, I'm not shut in a hole just yet, so buck up!">
Wora sighed, content. <"You're right. Just don't go scaring me like that again, okay?">
<"Sure, sis.">
<"So, how long did the doc say you'd be stuck here for?">
<"They reckon they'll see if this'll take in a day or so. If it does, I'm free to go. Well, as free as I can be on this rock, at least. I'll be back to see your lack of modesty again soon.">
Wora's expression grew smug. <"You know you love it."> she mocked.
Behn sniggered, transitioning into full on laughter when Wora mockingly began lifting her shirt. Wora joined in, letting the joy of the moment wash away any lingering doubts and worries. Now she knew that she, her friend, and their bond, was safe.
~~~
The bus glode smoothly past shop-lined streets as Mark stared out the window, attempting to map out the city in his mind while wondering where he could get a set of headphones built for his ears. It stopped outside a family-owned grocer to let waiting passengers board. Before the bus could take off again, a thin man carrying a basket of food approached Mark.
<"What're you doing here?"> he asked belligerently.
Mark was shaken from his window watching by the man's question. "Can I help you?" he asked politely.
<"This bus isn't built for you."> the basket-carrier stated with certainty. <"Get off.">
Mark blinked. "... Pardon?"
The man's already scowl-creased face scrunched further, his jowls parted just enough for a thin white line of fangs to be visible between his jaws. <"Are you mocking me? Get off the damn bus!"> he insisted, shooting a finger at the side door.
Mark knew then what was happening. He knew it would happen eventually, but he wasn't entirely prepared for the sensation of the event itself. Still, he retained his composure. "Please leave me be, sir." he said firmly.
The man, clearly knowing that he wasn't going to get his way alone, stormed up to the driver's seat and demanded Mark to be removed from the vehicle. <"Buddy, the guy ain't causin' no trouble. You leave 'em alone or you're walkin'."> the driver said matter-of-factly.
The man, finally understanding his place in the proceedings, shot a nasty look Mark's way, and stepped off the bus.

"That guy on the bus surprised me. I've noticed that nobody here's all that subtle, but nobody's been that forward thus far." said Mark, recounting yesterday's encounter with a concerned citizen on public transport.
Rilk'r, Mark's companion at the cafeteria table, nodded along to the human's retelling, aware of the encounter in question from today's episode of MarkWatch. <"Don't let 'em get to you. You really shouldn't have to put up with that shit, but if it's just a handful of belligerent dicks, you don't have much to worry about. You stay the course, and they'll get over it eventually.">
While Mark wasn't entirely convinced, stressing over factors out of one's control did little good. "Yeah."
The conversation paused as the two men dug into their lunches, picking up again when Rilk'r asked: <"So, how's that gym treating you?">
"Pretty well, actually. It's a bit stuffy, but I can't complain too much. I imagine you learned about that from the news?"
Rilk'r looked hurt. <"The news? I helped put the damn thing together!">
Mark choked on his water, drawing eyes from employees that he had hoped would be used to his presence by now. "Wait, really? You never told me!"
<"I like my customers to leave their reviews after they've put my work to the test."> Rilk'r said smugly.
"Heh. Well, I've certainly seen worse equipment." He would never forget that one squat rack in Anytime Fitness that fell apart the instant he re-racked his bar.
Rilk'r chuckled. <"Glowing praise, that.">
And once again, the two men put their chat on hold while they ate. Rilk'r cleaned his tray before Mark, to neither's surprise, and waved as he returned to work. Uns'la pointed a finger gun as she linked up with Rilk'r, Mark returned it. As his tray neared empty, Arnd, who too was using the break in the day's lesson to eat her fill, came up to the table.
<"You think you could pick up the pace a bit? We still have the last decade of the Crisis of the Peaks to cover, and I don't want it spilling into my free day."> she asked, the tapping of her foot on the tiled floor akin to a metronome with no patience for rhythm.
"What do you think I'm doing?" replied Mark, now shoveling his gravy-soaked wobunil chunks into his mouth at as fast a pace as their size allowed. Before long, and with many painful attempts to swallow mouthfuls in excess of his throat's capacity, Mark emptied his tray. He also made a mental note to, if he ever made it back to Earth, tell Percy about that time he almost took too much meat for his throat to handle, giggling childishly to himself.
After he quickly gulped down water from a paper cup, Mark was ready to return. Arnd watched impatiently as Mark nodded to the guard stationed outside the bar, with her impatience morphing to simple annoyance when Mark paused to pull out his data pad. This annoyance turned to frustration when Mark turned on his heels and walked back toward her.
"I gotta go, T'aro wants me in R&D immediately. We'll pick up with Crisis when I get back." And with that, Mark was off toward the elevators and Arnd was left watching him go.
Jan'u came up to her, licking his jowls clean of gravy. <"What's he up to now?">
Arnd deflated. <"Doesn't matter. Come on, Nelert's Bones is out and I wanna see if it lives up to the trailers.">

Beneath the mountain, with K'ul stalwart by his side, T'aro paced, second-guessing whether this was a good idea.
Yesterday, as the moon shone as a silver crescent high above the city, T'aro oversaw the first test of a circular bone saw attachment to F'ejen's shield-focused surgical tool. The device whirred, the multitude of tiny energy blades blurring together to form a single, uniform disc of light at the tip of the apparatus. With precision, F'ejen lowered the device down on to, in absence of replicated human bone, a plate of what T'aro dubbed 'Malante Squared', a substance that acted as a less refined, less dense x'erren attempt at N.L.N.A, the substance that comprised the hull of Mark's detached cockpit. Upon contact, the saw squealed as it battled its target, but both it and F'ejen held firm, and the doctor soon excavated a near-perfect square from the mass. A few moments after F'ejen shut the device off, he was told that this attachment too passed safety and stability tests. F'ejen nodded proudly at this victory and ticked off yet another test on his notepad he pulled from his breast pocket; thus far, among other tools, he had successfully tested: a scalpel with adjustable length, a needle tip, a drill, and scissors.
F'ejen stepped out of the testing room, discarding his gloves and shoes, and loosing his ears. <"Well, what's next on the docket?"> he asked, softly massaging his aching ears.
<"Staples. Although how you plan on making this work, I have no clue."> replied T'aro, looking over the list of planned tools.
Listening to T'aro launch into further detail of the task's complications, F'ejen couldn't help but think. <"So, remind me; Mark's more or less on your side now?">
<"He promised that the antics were over, so ostensibly, yes.">
<"... Then shouldn't you tell him about all this?"> asked F'ejen, gesturing to the testing room where a team was examining the surgical apparatus.
T'aro looked at the doctor in stunned disbelief. <"Out of the question. If you've read Mark's contract, and I know you have, you'll know he has the legal right to shut this entire operation down at any time he so wishes. The instant he sees us developing this technology, I've no doubt in my mind that his first act would be to demand that development ceases. His second would be to demand a release from his contract, which is also his legal right.">
<"I take it then he still doesn't trust us?">
<"He said so himself."> said T'aro pointedly.
<"And do you think he'll trust us any more if we continue keeping secrets?"> questioned F'ejen, turning to face the administrator.
T'aro turned in kind. <"I am the director of this project and I will not be questioned.">
<"I have been a surgeon since before you came of age."> the doctor stated firmly, letting his experience drive his words. <"I have worked at many hospitals and have tended to very many patients. The longer you lie to a patient, even if the lie is entirely for the patient's benefit, the harsher they react when the truth comes out. When Mark tried to escape, he was in a panic, trying to tunnel away from the force he thought he could not fight. But what do you think he'll to do now that he's come to know us, to adapt to us? I know you have the means to bring him in again, but none of them are quiet enough for you to get away with it."> F'ejen leaned in, craning his neck upward to get face-to-face with his junior. <"You open up now, or the decades you've spent on this project go up in smoke.">
T'aro could say nothing to the physician as he produced a pack of lija from his pocket, bit down on a pod, and ambled out of the room saying that he was going to bed. T'aro stood blinking into the silent air for a few long minutes after the doctor had left, before deciding: <"Not the samples, that's too far.">

T'aro's pacing and fretting was interrupted by Mark rounding the corner into R&D, his face a portrait of curiosity and apprehension. "You called?" he said flatly.
T'aro straightened. <"Yes, I did. I'm glad you could make it so promptly.">
Mark shrugged. "You said immediately. So, what's up?"
T'aro turned, gesturing Mark to follow. <"As you well know, I wouldn't be doing my job as head of extraterrestrial affairs if I didn't look after the health of those that fall under my jurisdiction. I've already made steps to accommodate this in providing you proper nourishment and the personal gym - which I've noticed you've taken quite a fancy to."> Mark nodded, he would be lying if he denied his enjoyment of having regular, challenging exercise as part of his daily routine again. <"Regardless, this is just the surface; I'm frankly shocked you've not yet fallen ill, I'll chalk that up to your immune system being just as hardy as your body. That body, Mister Stevens, however durable, is still mortal. If you were to suffer an injury, it would need to be tended to. You could recover from nicks and bruises on your own, but more severe injuries: broken bones, deep lacerations, etcetera, those would require medical attention, even surgery.">
Mark didn't know whether or not to ease himself now that the man was getting to the damned point, as said point's subject matter put him on edge.
<"Unfortunately,"> T'aro continued. <"The same implacable nature of your physiology that keeps you safe from the same rounds that would put a hole in a x'erren man large enough to stick one's hand through, would similarly keep standard surgical tools from being able to do their work. Thus, when doctor Rour brought forth the idea of using projected shields in place of metal or glass blades, I had to jump at the chance.">
With impeccable timing that told Mark that T'aro had thoroughly rehearsed this speech of his, the X'erren gestured Mark through a door to his left. Upon entry, Mark realized that his initial mixed feelings were nothing compared to what he felt looking upon the implements in person, their pristine, rounded forms catching the light in a way that made them look both sacred and profane, and they weren't even turned on!
T'aro stood beside the human. <"As you can see, we've developed a range of attachments, with more on the way. I understand any apprehension you may have, Mister Stevens, but you must understand that without this, there is no way for anyone in x'erren space to aid you should the need arise.">
"... Have you tested these?"
<"On varying metals, yes. And I can confirm that these tools are up to the job.">
"Then, may I see them in action?"
T'aro knew not to ease himself just yet, but part of him was glad that Mark remained at least outwardly calm. <"If I can manage to rouse doctor Rour, then yes.">
In the tense calm following T'aro's message to F'ejen, Mark found his eyes always drifting toward the assortment of attachments laid out on the table beyond the viewing window, and tried to fit each adapter to a purpose. He was in the middle of inspecting the needle tip when the door opened to F'ejen, who, upon seeing Mark, immediately sported a smile.
<"Mark! How are you?">
"Just fine, thanks."
<"Mister Rour! Glad you're here. Now, shall we begin the demonstration?"> said T'aro as though yesterday's conversation never happened.
<"That we shall."> replied F'ejen in kind.
And after F'ejen donned his surgical garb, he did just that, lighting the space and filling the air with the sound of humming shields projectors and screeching metal as he sliced, drilled, and punctured a sheet of malante2. All the while, T'aro explained the substance's origin, reminding Mark that, given its nature as a recreation of an entirely human creation, he could shut down its production and research thereof at any moment. Mark politely declined.
Before long, each tool, including the staples, had been demonstrated in full, and F'ejen rejoined the pair in the viewing room. <"So,"> he said. <"what do you think?">
Mark thought a moment. "I think that this is not only a brilliant piece of tech, but that it exists for my sake is very considerate of you both." His words, while genuine, were tinged with doubt, something that his x'erren listeners were all too aware of. "I do wish, however, that you would have notified me beforehand, for both the tools and the metal."
F'ejen and T'aro apologized for their lack of foresight and, with a gesture from Mark that he was satisfied with the showcase, followed him out into the hallway.
As the trio made their way back to the surface, K'ul keeping stride with T'aro, Mark tapped F'ejen on the shoulder. "Hey, are you free for a bit? I have some questions I'd like to ask."
<"Of course, we can talk over lunch.">
T'aro was mildly distressed at the apparent desire for him to not be present, but he understood. He stopped the pair, telling them to go on without him as he had to oversee maintenance performed on the gym. He watched as Mark and F'ejen rounded a corner and hoped for the best.

F'ejen returned to the cafeteria table with a small mantan leaf wrap, understanding that Mark went without food because he had already ate. <"So, bud, what do you need to know?">
Mark had loosened somewhat in T'aro's absence, but still hesitated slightly when asking. <"Are those tools really for surgery?">
The doctor paused mid-bite. <"I brought up the idea of using shields as a substitute for metal, why wouldn't they be for surgery?">
"I know, but that's not what I meant. It's more..." Mark looked around to see if anyone suspicious was watching. "Are they really there to mend injuries, are they really there to help me?"
F'ejen laid his wrap down, sighing in understanding. <"Look, man, I get that you don't trust T'aro, I wouldn't trust him either after what he's pulled. But I can tell you straight that this is legit. You can trust this.">
Mark didn't know if he felt any better after having it said to him so plainly. "I just hope they never have to be used."
<"No true surgeon ever wants their tools to leave storage. If I had my way, everyone would always be healthy and surgery would be a dead field."> He bit into his wrap, and Mark agreed.
~~~
Du'fra stepped out through the hospital's front doors, a prescription for pain medication in his hand and a thick cast on his arm. It took time and a lot of pain to realign the halves of his shattered forearm, and by the time the cast was on, the doctors had confirmed that this level of damage could take at minimum four months to heal, and years to regain full strength once he had the internal plates and pins removed. Before he left the ward, he opted to hire a Spare Hand: a robotic arm strapped to one's shoulder controlled by brainwaves monitored by a small headpiece, to replace one's out of commission arm while it healed, held aloft in a sling. Healthcare was a dream in Ta'X'rtana, and thus the only money that left Du'fra's coffers was the hire fee for the Spare Hand, and a handful of chump change for a surprisingly good hospital meal on his way out. He finished his meal in the office courtyard, carelessly tossing the container aside when his taxi arrived.
As the vehicle navigated the city's airspace, Du'fra checked his cruiser's tracker, and found it to be impounded in a lot across town. He decided that it could rot there for all he cared, he still had the cruiser he got in his divorce. He was both shocked and glad that the parasites now sitting in the executive chairs at X'rtan Freight hadn't stolen anything from him while he was out. With that thought, he searched The Flow for any news pertaining to X'rtan Freight, and came by an article reporting on the new Acting Chief Vuk'li's ascension to the top of the company and his donation of 500 billion ker'se to the Men-te Relief Fund to commemorate his rise. <"That brakk fucker worked in marketing before he was hired there, of course he'd pull a stunt like this."> growled Du'fra. In his fury, he instinctively reached out for a pack of first-grade lija pods, and remembered the one thing in his old cruiser that he would miss.
Errant dust was blown off the rooftop by the taxi's arrival to Du'fra's apartment. Air-capable taxi fare took a bigger bite out of one's pockets than a standard ride, but Du'fra didn't care. Once inside his building, Du'fra quickly reminded himself where the set of keys to his ex wife's cruiser were, and then got to work. Where it once felt drab and lifeless, his office now felt fresh, given its new purpose. Typing with an artificial hand was awkward despite the practice doctors mandated before Du'fra could take it home with him, and he continually made spelling errors that served only to add to his mounting frustrations. Even with this new complication, however, it didn't take long for Du'fra to find what he was looking for.
Arnd Kolr's online life was scarce. All Du'fra could dig up was a seldom used Conclave account, the last activity of which was to trawl the forum of a middlingly popular book series and the account of her work hard-play hard daughter. A daughter that, with a quick search, Du'fra found to be in prison for gang activity dating back years. Familial association was not proper grounds for legal action, though, so he had to find another avenue. From news sources, he read claims that she was either hired by the government or arrested and held in X'rtani House until further notice. All Du'fra knew as of yet was that she, in her current position, was effectively untouchable. At least, if Du'fra was alone. It was common knowledge among those who did any cursory research that Arnd had close ties to Mark, someone who, though protected, was in a state of political flux, with talks going back and forth regarding the alien and how to handle him. And if politicians listened to anything, it was money, and significant public outcry.
And thus, the plan was simple: Either through generous donations, the outspoken voices of concerned citizens, or a mixture of both, swing the Council in opposition to Mark, destabilizing his and therefore Arnd's position. This should result in numerous investigations being launched, the likelihood being high that at least one would uncover the connection between Arnd and Vuk'li, putting Vuk'li's position in jeopardy and likely landing him with fines and jail time. The resulting controversy should put immense pressure on him, leaving nothing left to do but keep the pressure up until he resigns. It was elegant in its simplicity.
The only problem was getting started. He would have to be smart with his donations, hitting the sweet spot between being too small to notice and too large to be innocent. And thus he knew to start with his alternative solution; he would have to track down an anti-Mark group. But he was still weary from his surgery, and he wasn't too concerned with losing a day of progress, and decided instead to kick his feet up and relax, maybe fall asleep to reruns of that one talk show with the cute young presenter.
Prime kurjan ribs delivered to his door and top shelf X'ogan reed wine were the night's menu, with entertainment courtesy of one Wer'eled, a host who seemed determined to wear the thinnest and loosest fabric the censors would let her get away with. As Du'fra indulged, his mind drifted back, as it always would on nights like these, to the days of his relative youth. He was a 34 year old up-and-comer at X'rtan Freight after acing his interview for administrating light post in central Ta'X'rtana and surrounds, with a brand new studio apartment financed by his father, and a charming young woman to call his own: Ber'a Neyil. She had energy exploding from every inch of her tiny body and could talk her way in and out of damn near anything, which was useful skill for a saleswoman. On glorious, youthful nights when they were both tired from work and needed release, Ber'a was known to signal the beginning of the night's events by sporting a lacy gown and demanding that Du'fra follow his instincts. Looking back, Du'fra could name little else he enjoyed from his marriage. Time wore on and things grew comfortable, Du'fra couldn't be more content. Ber'a, however, viewed her continued entrenchment in a cozy routine to be increasingly stale, and sought an escape by suggesting to move away from the city. Du'fra disagreed, and thus the couple engaged in their first fight, with tempers and moods only worsening from there. Though it felt like an eternity of squabbling and growing resentment, only a few months had passed since that initial spat before divorce papers were being signed. By that point, Ber'a was more than done with Du'fra, not caring if he kept her cruiser. Du'fra never saw her again. Every time he reminisced on his marriage, Du'fra debated whether or not staying was a good idea, before shrugging and continuing on with whatever he was doing.
Stars twinkled faintly in the gaps between moonlit clouds, and Du'fra began to drift, slowly, into the waiting arms of sleep.

Day broke, and Du'fra was jolted awake by a sudden pain in his arm, the surgeon warned him about that. His unhooked the Spare Hand from his shoulder, the throbbing he felt was an indication that he should probably take it off before he goes to sleep in future. Breakfast was pe'ka pieces drowning in lija sauce that disappeared down Du'fra's gullet with grotesque haste, there was work to do. Simply typing Mark Stevens into a search bar brought up more results than he knew what to do with. Forums arguing back and forth over why he was on Kerc-en and whether or not he should be allowed to roam free; the supremely tacky MarkWatch page that practically begged him to appear on the show; and, oddly enough, a site claiming to 'spread truths' that would have a hard time convincing even the most hardcore conspiracy theorists. If the government was trying in earnest to kill Arnd, then how in the scream-rent flaming air of the Pit was she still alive? Laughable nonsense. Still, his search bore some fruit, with mentions of live meetings to debate all matters Mark, with an unsubtle negative lean in the poster's text. This, he could use.
The doorbell beeped, pulling Du'fra out of his concentration. He strapped on his Spare Hand and went to answer. The door opened to a police officer whose expression was nothing but business. <"Mister Du'fra Neem?"> he asked.
<"Yes.">
The officer glanced slightly to the left. <"Do you have a permit for that apparatus?">
Du'fra quickly flashed the document in question. <"Might I ask what this visit is about, officer?"> He knew he would get the answer either way, but asking helped his confidence.
<"You have been summoned to attend a hearing at the Central Municipal Tribunal, to determine your sentence for your engagement in an illegal Kre'gadol duel. This hearing will be undertaken on the 15th Dawn of Se'te. The full details are listed in this document."> With form befitting a man in uniform, the lawman presented an envelope.
Du'fra took the envelope only because waiting to let the situation sink in would take too long. The officer nodded, and left, the door slamming shut in his wake. A thorough reading of the summons told Du'fra that everything was as standard: He and the other guilty party were to each present a defense either with their own lawyers or lawyers provided by the state, with expected sentences ranging between two to seven months. At the mention of a month shy of an entire year being snatched away from him, Du'fra's grip tightened on the paper. However, he knew that he would have to face this some day soon, and he had slowly been steeling himself ever since he declared the duel that fateful night. Now, he knew there was no turning back, and he was prepared to learn just how much he was willing to pay for justice.
-----
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submitted by TheAusNerd to HFY [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 01:58 almabrillante I (29f) have been living with my mom (52f/menopausal) for a year. Started dating someone new and mom is not a fan. We have dwindled down to her barely speaking to me and when we’re both home, she stays in her room and avoids me.

I posted in relationship_advice but someone advised this subreddit. I’m feeling super defeated and just want some advice on how to deal with this.
A little backstory to start - I’m 29 & going back to school, working on getting into dental school (I’m essentially a sophomore in college now). Back in summer of 2018, I made this decision of wanting to go back to school, where I discussed with my mom if I could move in with her while I was in school. We both laid everything out and agreed that she would help me (me living rent free). I move in with her July 2019 and things are generally fine-we hadn’t lived together in 8 years and inevitably, we have grown a lot since then so any hiccups were minojust a matter of readjusting to a new lifestyle. The first year is pretty solid between us, even during quarantine. The biggest issue was time management - she felt like I never made time to spend with her. On top of that, any time out of quarantine, our work schedules were conflicting where I would work evenings and she worked during the day. Nonetheless, my mom is more of a codependent person where I am more independent. This obviously showed more and more when she would be upset with me for never making time for her, or she said that I would to choose to spend my time with my friends other than her. This is already annoying to me but I try my best to be compassionate and graceful with her and mindful of giving her time. Unfortunately, spending time would be drinking wine together or something superficial like that (shopping). I am not a big drinker so it often felt like I couldn’t keep up with her. Any other form of spending time, she would be upset with me for being on my phone. So I’m already feeling like I can never win and anything I try to offer wasn’t good enough.
Another layer of backstory - after July 2019, when I’d moved back in with my mom, I also ended an almost 8 year relationship. It was nothing more than a stagnant relationship, it was killing me that I knew we weren’t going anywhere. My mom generally sided with my ex, feeling bad for him. Culturally, my mom has always thought to side with the man, yada yada. But again, my independence comes into play and I just can’t settle. So that long relationship ends, and I spend this first year getting settled back into school and relationships are not on my radar at all. That being said, I never even dated or brought a guy back to me and mom’s place.
Fast forward to this summer, June 2020, I meet a guy that came to my job and I swear it was a cosmic occurrence. Extremely magnetic. I made the first move and we literally haven’t stopped talking since the first day we met. He is 4.5 yrs older than me and a full-time single dad. Basically, the total opposite of my ex. But also everything that I wanted... Although, I spent this first year not looking for a relationship, it gave me time to fine tune what I would want my next relationship to look like. He fit the criteria. We make each other genuinely happy. We both knew that the way we met was very out of nowhere so we vocalized wanting to “keep our feet on the ground” and not get too ahead of ourselves. However, we have seen each other pretty much every day since we first met.
I’ll admit that in the first couple of weeks, I spent a lot of time with him. I would try to be respectful and not come home at odd hours of the night. I would spend some nights at his place, too. In the beginning, I lacked communication in letting my mom know I wouldn’t be home. After an incident where I was at his place during the day, I missed her calls (it was like 6+). I called her back to let her know I was okay and then rushed back to our place. I let her have time to yell and express her being upset. I genuinely felt bad and apologized, assuring it wouldn’t happen again. But unfortunately, this was the start of the tension. I worked intentionally on finding a groove where I could spend time with my new boyfriend and time with her. I worked my tail off this summer before the semester started so my time was limited - and again, me and my mom’s schedule were opposing so I did the best I could. She’s often asleep by the time I got home from work. There was a blip of time throughout the rest of this summer where she “came around” and wanted to get to know my bf. We went to dinner a couple times and really enjoyed each other’s company - or so I thought. There was a moment where it was just me and her and she said that in the last 7 years I’d spent with my ex, she never saw me this happy. I felt at peace and like I could have the best of both worlds.
I’m back in school and I’m still trying to readjust to my schedule (I also have a new job of working at school/school & work are fully online). My time management is wonky simply bc online is difficult for me. Mornings, where my mom is at work, my boyfriend had time to stop by our apartment so we could see each other. I made it a point to try to leave my evenings open so I could be home when she got off work. There was one particular morning where she came home early. Me and my bf were in the living room (purely innocent) but I couldn’t help but have this feeling of “I got caught”. I didn’t tell her that he was going to stop by, where it was just a quick occurrence and I thought he would be gone by the time she got back. Her face said it all and she looked peeved. My bf sort of quickly left and she even tried to make small talk with him but he left soon after that. Again, it was a feeing of “we got caught”, so that encounter was a little awkward where he was just trying to leave. I talked to her after that, apologized and explained it was just a quick meet up bc I was going to be busy the rest of the evening with schoolwork. Ever since that little awkward encounter, she began being very short with me. I’d ask her how day was - fine, ask if she wanted me to make something for us to eat - no. She is typically very animated with me so although it seems like nothing, it was a huge change. I asked frequently if she was okay and she said she was fine. I tried to just leave it as is and carry on.
A few days trickle by and I’m at the kitchen table doing schoolwork. She offered me a glass of wine and since she’d been dry with me, I was glad she was trying to connect with me somehow. I accepted and we went out to the patio to sip and chat. The convo is fine and steady at first, just how school and work is going, etc. Then the convo veers into the direction of her feeling like my new bf isn’t good enough for me. She said she thought I’m too much woman for him. She went a roundabout way of expressing she thought he was beneath us - financially/class. She thinks I could do better. But she did express that she knows I’m 29 and not 15 anymore so she “would hope” that I make the right decision and do what’s best for me. She told me not to take it personally but she wanted me to know how she felt. She also explained that two of her friends who follow me on instagram (heavy eye roll) saw that I posted him on my story and had plenty of comments being like “is that who she really wants to end up with”. I get obviously frustrated by this bc I just don’t care about shit like that, especially when I met someone who I can finally be myself with. I just thought my mom bringing up her friends’ comments was pointless. But again, I let her talk and just listened. I tried my best to understand where she’s coming from. I understand my new bf is worlds different my ex, but obviously that’s the point. I stayed in a relationship where I felt muted bc it was comfortable and I thought I couldn’t go up from there. She knew I was unhappy with my ex for a very long time, and also made the comment that with my new bf, she hadn’t seen me happier. It just threw me for a loop that she couldn’t just cheer me on. She just picked out all the bad things she could find and let that sit at the forefront. I know she just wants the best for me so again, I just tried to listen to what she had to say. Throughout this convo, she also mentioned that her menopause has been hell for her and she’s emotionally all over the place, feeling “a mothers jealousy” towards me and new bf. She feels herself getting older and “feels ready for God to take her”. I start crying when she says this bc I just want her to be happy. Obviously I don’t want my mom to be having these kinds of thoughts and I feel lost on how to console her. I try to keep our place very tidy and make meals when I can. I pitch in with buying groceries/toiletries for us. I swear I do my best in trying to make her life as smooth as possible, as I know she made a change in letting me move in with her. She honestly doesn’t rub it in my face but she does make it a point to say that she made a big change in getting a 2 bedroom apartment so I could go back to school. I take that to heart and try to give her extra money.
I could keep going but to save y’all from reading a novel I will wrap it up here. I just feel so lost. I feel like the next option is just looking to the extremes - breaking up with my bf while I’m still living with my mom or moving out altogether. I have no intention with moving in with my bf as our relationship is still in its early stages. I’m just hoping that it’s menopause but fuck. Walking around my apartment while she’s there and her actively trying to avoid me is so fucking exhausting. I just don’t know what to do.
submitted by almabrillante to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 00:38 ThrowRAadvicepls324 My (15f) sister has developed a severe phobia of vomit and I (19f) don’t know how to help her.

My little sister (15 yrs old) has some signs of mental illness. I can’t pinpoint exactly what, because i’m not a doctor, but I can tell you some things she does that aren’t normal or healthy. For one, she has a SEVERE phobia of vomit. I’m not sure when this developed, but i know it gradually got worse. She stays in her room 24/7, demanded she switch to online school (before corona hit) because she just can’t handle the fact that a kid might throw up in class with her. This has obviously prevented her from leaving the house, avoiding every food that she thinks will make her sick, she will impulsively check the expiration date on anything before she eats it, she puts towels at the bottom of BOTH sides of her door so that when we are cooking, she can’t smell it. Like, she doesn’t eat regular food. She will throw a fit when we make certain food that she hates the smell of. She has a very particular diet that is only fast food. She spits out anything that has even just a weird texture. Her diet is not at all healthy. She is ignorant and told my older sister that she is not allowed to come to our house anymore because my older sister’s kids are going to school and that exposes them to corona, meaning she’s trying to avoid getting sick. They are just kids!! It really upset them when she shunned them like that. She thinks that she can make the rules of the house? And our parents don’t even stop her. They just do everything they can to make her happy and try not to upset her. She gets everything and anything she wants. Every night the first thing they ask her is what she wants to eat. It’s like they’re number one priority to take care of her needs. But they are so oblivious to this unhealthy lifestyle. She is 15. She needs to grow up, and they’re still BABYING HER! How is she going to get a job? If one of our family living IN the house is sick, she will avoid them, belittle them, make them feel bad for being sick, and lock herself in her room. She even writes notes on her door saying they are NOT allowed to come in her room if they are sick. I’ve had ENOUGH of this behavior. I am the only one in the house that can see this clearly. My parents don’t understand that there is something wrong. She has even yelled at them that she needs help. I’ve asked time and time again if they can take her to a therapist. But my mom never does. She is one of those people that don’t believe in depression, anxiety etc. Any of our real problems go right over her head. So I really don’t know what to do for my sister. She wanted to be a elementary teacher, but how is she going to be able to do that when she can’t stand to hear, see, smell throw up?? She is so sensitive and complains about normal house things. I feel like I can’t even live in this house anymore without being ridiculed for doing HUMAN things. She sleeps with a pile of trash on her bed. I ask her how that is comfortable and she says it doesn’t bother her. Everyone in our family seems to agree that she needs help, except for her dad and our mom. It gets so frustrating to deal with this. And this weekend my mom and little sister are going on a small road trip. My older sister can’t even come over yet she is exposing herself to illness by traveling? So all of that goes against all of her fears? Please someone tell me how that makes sense. Sorry if this is unorganized. There is SO much more to it than just these things. It’s not her mental illness but her disrespectful behavior toward our parents that I can’t handle. Does anyone have any insight on this? What else could I do? There is no one in my life that i’ve told about this. I figure there’s not much I can do and am working to move out soon.
submitted by ThrowRAadvicepls324 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 00:18 almabrillante I (29f) have been living with my mom (52f) for a year. I’m in a new relationship & she’s not a fan of the new bf, leading to her barely speaking to me. Feeling defeated and unsure how to resolve me & my mom’s relationship.

A little backstory to start - I’m 29 & going back to school, working on getting into dental school (I’m essentially a sophomore in college now). Back in summer of 2018, I made this decision of wanting to go back to school where I discussed with my mom if I could move in with her while I was in school. We both laid everything out and agreed that she would help me (me living rent free). I move in with her July 2019 and things are generally fine-we hadn’t lived together in 8 years and of course, we have grown a lot since then so any hiccups were minojust a matter of readjusting to a new lifestyle. The first year is solid between us, even during quarantine. The only issues were time management - she felt like I never made time to spend with her. On top of that, any time out of quarantine, our work schedules were conflicting where I would work evenings and she worked during the day. Nonetheless, my mom is more of a codependent person where I am more independent. This obviously showed more and more when she would be upset with me for never making time for her, or she said that I would to choose to spend my time with my friends other than her. This is already annoying to me but I try my best to be compassionate and graceful with her and be mindful of giving her time. Unfortunately, spending time would be drinking wine together or something superficial like that (shopping). I am not a big drinker so it often felt like I couldn’t keep up with her. Any other form of spending time, she would be upset with me for being on my phone. So I’m already feeling like I can never win and anything I try to offer wasn’t good enough. Another layer of backstory - after July 2019 when I’d moved back in with my mom, I also ended an almost 8 year relationship. It was nothing more than a stagnant relationship and it was killing me that I knew we weren’t going anywhere. My mom generally sided with my ex, feeling bad for him. Culturally, my mom has always thought to side with the man, yada yada. But again, my independence comes into play and I just can’t settle. So that long relationship ends, and I spend a year getting settled back into school and relationships are not on my radar at all. That being said, I never even dated or brought a guy back to me and mom’s place. Fast forward to this summer, June 2020, I meet a guy that came to my job and I swear it was a cosmic occurrence. Extremely magnetic. I made the first move and we literally haven’t stopped talking since the first day we met. He is 4.5 yrs older than me and a full time single dad. Basically, the total opposite of my ex. But also everything that I wanted... Although, I spent this first year not looking for a relationship, it gave me time to fine tune what I would want my next relationship to look like. He fit the criteria. We make each other extremely happy. We both knew the way we met was so out of nowhere so we vocalized wanting to “keep our feet on the ground” and not get too ahead of ourselves. However, we have seen each other pretty much every day since we first met. I’ll admit that in the first couple of weeks, I spent a lot of time with him. I would try to be respectful and not come home at odd hours of the night. I would spend some nights at his place, too. In the beginning, I lacked communication in letting my mom know I wouldn’t be home. After an incident where I was at his place during the day, I missed her calls (it was like 6+). I called her back to let her know I was okay and then rushed back to our place. I let her have time to yell and express her being upset. I genuinely felt bad and apologized, assuring it wouldn’t happen again. But unfortunately, this was the start of the tension. I worked intentionally on finding a groove where I could spend time with my new boyfriend and time with her. I worked my tail off this summer before the semester started so my time was limited - and again, me and my mom’s schedule were opposing so I did the best I could. She’s often asleep by the time I got home from work. There was a blip of time throughout the rest of the summer where she “came around” and wanted to get to know my bf. We went to dinner a couple times and really enjoyed each other’s company - or so I thought. There was a moment where it was just me and her and she said that in the last 7 years I’d spent with my ex, she never saw me this happy. I felt at peace and like I could have the best of both worlds. I’m back in school and I’m still trying to readjust to my schedule (I also have a new job of working at school/school & work are fully online). My time management is wonky simply bc online is difficult for me. Mornings, where my mom is at work, my boyfriend had time to stop by our apartment so we could see each other. I made it a point to try to leave my evenings open so I could be home when she got off work. There was one particular morning where she came home early. Me and my bf were in the living room (purely innocent) but I couldn’t help but have this feeling of “I got caught”. I didn’t tell her that he was going to stop by, where it was just a quick occurrence and I thought he would be gone by the time she got back. Her face said it all and she looked peeved. My bf sort of quickly left and she even tried to make small talk with him but he left soon after that. Again, it was a feeing of “we got caught”, so that encounter was a little awkward where he was just trying to leave. I talked to her after that, apologized and explained it was just a quick meet up bc I was going to be busy the rest of the evening with schoolwork. Ever since that little awkward encounter, she began being very short with me. I’d ask her how day was - fine, ask if she wanted me to make something for us to eat - no. She is typically very animated with me so although it seems like nothing, it was a huge change. I asked frequently if she was okay and she said she was fine. I tried to just leave it as is and carry on. A few days trickle by and I’m at the kitchen table doing schoolwork. She offered me a glass of wine and since she’d been dry with me, I was glad she was trying to connect with me somehow. I accepted and we went out to the patio to sip and chat. The convo is fine and steady at first, just how school and work is going, etc. Then the convo veers into the direction of her feeling like my new bf isn’t good enough for me. She said she thought I’m too much woman for him. She went a roundabout way of expressing she thought he was beneath us - financially/class. She thinks I could do better. But she did express that she knows I’m 29 and not 15 anymore so she “would hope” that I make the right decision and do what’s best for me. She told me not to take it personally but she wanted me to know how she felt. She also explained that two of her friends who follow me on instagram (heavy eye roll) saw that I posted him on my story and had plenty of comments being like “is that who she really wants to end up with”. I get obviously frustrated by this bc I just don’t care about shit like that, especially when I met someone who I can finally be myself with. I just thought my mom bringing up her friends’ comments were pointless. But again, I let her talk and just listened. I tried my best to understand where she’s coming from. I understand my new bf is worlds different my ex, but obviously that’s the point. I stayed in a relationship where I felt muted bc it was comfortable and I thought I couldn’t go up from there. She knew I was unhappy with my ex for a very long time, and also made the comment that with my new bf, she hadn’t seen me happier. It just threw me for a loop that she couldn’t just cheer me on. She just picked out all the bad things she could find and let that sit at the forefront. I know she just wants the best for me so again, I just tried to listen to what she had to say. Throughout this convo, she also mentioned that her menopause has been hell for her and she’s emotionally all over the place, feeling “a mothers jealousy” towards me and new bf. She feels herself getting older and “feels ready for God to take her”. I start crying when she says this bc I just want her to be happy. Obviously I don’t want my mom to be having these kinds of thoughts and I feel lost on how to console her. I try to keep our place very tidy and make meals when I can. I pitch in with buying groceries/toiletries for us. I swear I do my best in trying to make her life as smooth as possible, as I know she made a change in letting me move in with her. She honestly doesn’t rub it in my face but she does make it a point to say that she made a big change in getting a 2 bedroom apartment so I could go back to school. I take that to heart and try to give her extra money. I could keep going but to save y’all from reading a novel I will wrap it up here. I just feel so lost. I feel like the next option is just looking to the extremes - breaking up with my bf while I’m still living with my mom or moving out altogether. I have no intention with moving in with my bf as our relationship is still in its early stages. I’m just hoping that it’s menopause but fuck. Walking around my apartment while she’s there and trying to avoid her is so fucking exhausting. I just don’t know what to do.
submitted by almabrillante to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 22:57 ThrowRAadvicepls324 My (15f) sister has developed a severe phobia of vomit and I don’t know how to help her.

My little sister (15 yrs old) has some signs of mental illness. I cant pinpoint exactly what, but I can tell you some things she does that aren’t normal or healthy. For one, she has a SEVERE phobia of vomit. I’m not sure when this developed, but i know it gradually got worse. She stays in her room 24/7, demanded she switch to online school (before corona hit) because she just can’t handle the fact that a kid might throw up in class with her. This has obviously prevented her from leaving the house, avoiding every food that she thinks will make her sick, she will impulsively check the expiration date on anything before she eats it, she puts towels at the bottom of BOTH sides of her door so that when we are cooking, she can’t smell it. Like, she doesn’t eat regular food. She will throw a fit when we make certain food that she hates the smell of. She has a very particular diet that is only fast food. She spits out anything that has even just a weird texture. Her diet is not at all healthy. She is ignorant and told my older sister that she is not allowed to come to our house anymore because my older sister’s kids are going to school and that exposes them to corona, meaning she’s trying to avoid getting sick. They are just kids!! It really upset them when she shunned them like that. She thinks that she can make the rules of the house? And our parents don’t even stop her. They just do everything they can to make her happy and try not to upset her. She gets everything and anything she wants. Every night the first thing they ask her is what she wants to eat. It’s like they’re number one priority to take care of her needs. But they are so oblivious to this unhealthy lifestyle. She is 15. She needs to grow up, and they’re still BABYING HER! How is she going to get a job? If one of our family living IN the house is sick, she will avoid them, belittle them, make them feel bad for being sick, and lock herself in her room. She even writes notes on her door saying they are NOT allowed to come in her room if they are sick. I’ve had ENOUGH of this behavior. I am the only one in the house that can see this clearly. My parents don’t understand that there is something wrong. She has even yelled at them that she needs help. I’ve asked time and time again if they can take her to a therapist. But my mom never does. She is one of those people that don’t believe in depression, anxiety etc. Any of our real problems go right over her head. So I really don’t know what to do for my sister. She wanted to be a elementary teacher, but how is she going to be able to do that when she can’t stand to hear, see, smell throw up?? She is so sensitive and complains about normal house things. I feel like I can’t even live in this house anymore without being ridiculed for doing HUMAN things. She sleeps with a pile of trash on her bed. I ask her how that is comfortable and she says it doesn’t bother her. Everyone in our family seems to agree that she needs help, except for her dad and our mom. It gets so frustrating to deal with this. And this weekend my mom and little sister are going on a small road trip. My older sister can’t even come over yet she is exposing herself to illness by traveling? So all of that goes against all of her fears? Please someone tell me how that makes sense. Sorry if this is unorganized. There is SO much more to it than just these things. It’s not her mental illness but her disrespectful behavior toward our parents that I can’t handle. Does anyone have any insight on this? There is no one in my life that i’ve told about this. I figure there’s not much I can do and am working to move out soon.
submitted by ThrowRAadvicepls324 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 19:13 mynameismalakai Dell XPS 15 is running very slow

Hey there. I have been trying to fix this problem myself for quite some time, but I’ve had no luck.
Here’s the gist:
I got this computer in December 2018. I am a video editor and use Adobe products. I made sure that the specs would fit my needs, but now they don’t. The computer runs slow all around. It takes about 2 minutes to boot up. And then I have to wait another 3 minutes before I dare try to click anything. Even clicking on the file explorer takes forever to load. I disabled all the non essential startup items, but it didn’t do much. I have also switched my graphics from fancy to fast.
Another strange problem is that sometimes when I go to turn my computer on, I press the power button and it makes a weird “squeal” sound. Kind of like Iron Man’s hand blast? And then it just shuts off. Sometimes I have to go through that process a couple times before it finally turns on. This is extremely frustrating when I am just trying to work on a project and can barely open anything.
Another issue is with Chrome itself. It will lag out and freeze very often. When I go to the task manager to shut it down, it always says it’s running at least 15 chrome processes for just one tab. I have read that this is somewhat normal, but I still find it problemsome.
Sometimes when things are getting really funky, I’ll check the task manager and see that the CPU is at 100%. If I recall correctly, the process doing that is usually “sys” something.
And like I said before, I use Adobe products every day. Photoshop and premiere mainly. And I got this computer because it’s supposed to be an editing computer. I’ve read about people seamlessly going from photoshop to preemie and exporting and importing with no issue, but I have no idea what that’s like.
I have run several defrags and antimalware scans. I have gone through Dell’s online analyzer and it said I had some out of date drivers and what not (despite having auto updates on), but nothing changed when I downloaded them. I have replaced the battery because I read that could be problematic (but now I'm $200 out and don’t really notice a difference.) I did a clean install of windows. I also replaced the fan.
I know this is going to be a long and grueling process, but I just can’t do it anymore. I would be very thankful for some help.
Here is some more information:
Benchmark: https://www.userbenchmark.com/UserRun/33207991
Dell XPS 15
Windows 10 Home
Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-8300H CPU @ 2.30GHz, 2304 Mhz, 4 Core(s), 8 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date Dell Inc. 1.17.1, 7/9/2020
Total Physical Memory 15.7 GB
Available Physical Memory 8.92 GB
Total Virtual Memory 18.6 GB
Available Virtual Memory 10.6 GB
Page File Space 2.88 GB
Graphics Intel UHD 630
submitted by mynameismalakai to techsupport [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 17:49 shaneman20 Dating Life. I can't be the only one struggling with it.

First things first, I have no idea if this is the best place to even put this, but I feel like what I'm honestly about to do is vent. So, guess what? That's what I'm going to do. For reference, I'm a 28/M.
So, before I get to my actual vent, I need to give you some background. 2 years ago, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. It was a very toxic relationship in that she would always gaslight me, manipulate me, and treat me like utter shit. About the only good thing to come out of that relationship was the sex and she even withheld that from me after 3 months of dating. And also, for the record, my sex life has been about as dry as my dating life. So, there's that too. Worst part of dating this woman was that I actually worked with her. Yes, I should've known better, and I did know better. However, I felt she understood me for who I am and what I go through. Case in point, she is a part of an organization (I will not name it) that promotes awareness for those with special needs and gets them to participate in endurance races. (Things like 5k, 10k, Mini-Marathon, Marathon.) And with me having a certain thing that even the government considers a "disability", I was hoping she would be very understanding. I was completely wrong in every sense. I tried my absolute best to continue working where I did for a year after our breakup, but the more I tried to separate myself, be more independent, and actually work hard towards forwarding my career to better myself as an individual, but the more I tried to do any of this, she was right there to knock it down in some form or fashion and it was honestly the most ridiculous thing ever. It even got to a point where she actually got me in trouble at work. That fiasco alone caused me to part ways with that company (which the company is already having a hard time keeping people) and I ended up finding a better job about 5 days later. And I want you all to know that during that time, between the breakup and me getting the new job, I was doing therapy. Mix between online, EAP (which was completely garbage and the person's recommendations were unprofessional at best), and in-person before COVID messed things up. I also got on medication as well.
Leaving that line of work in pursuit of a different line of work that I never thought I'd actually do as a career and always keep as a hobby has changed things drastically. I find passion and enjoyment in the line of work that I do, even if there are some days that it stresses me out. So, in that aspect of my life, I'm very happy with it and I will continue to do what makes me happy.
As for everything else, I've worked on myself quite a bit. I think what has helped a lot for me is having a career that has allowed me to express myself and come into a workplace that isn't toxic or at least allows me to do things as an individual and team related when necessary.
My problem now is that it seems like the dating life, as a whole, is nonexistent everywhere. I've been on plenty of dating apps for a while and honestly trying to do any kind of dating has been incredibly hard. I've only been on 2 dates in the past 2 years since my breakup and it has had me a little worried, but also, I realize trying to force myself into it will only make things worse or put me in a repeat situation. So, is it just me that's really struggling with the dating life or is this a worldwide problem? I really wouldn't say I'm trying to force myself into anything at this time, but I also need to at least try to better myself and also focus some on my needs, but I'll do what I have to on my own until things work out. It's honestly just frustrating and I've never had this much trouble in my dating life ever until now.
submitted by shaneman20 to Vent [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 17:18 InstagramGrowthHack Why you shouldn’t use Awario for your Instagram monitoring efforts – and what to do instead

Why you shouldn’t use Awario for your Instagram monitoring efforts – and what to do instead
Are you thinking of using Awario to monitor your mentions on Instagram? Are you looking for an assistant to help you manage your page? Do you need an application to help you in growing your Instagram page? In this article, we are going to talk about the Awario monitoring tool and its services. Then, we will compare it to other similar platforms to see whether it worth it or not! So if you want to know the answers to these questions, follow us to the rest of the article.
If you are looking for an alternative and don’t want to read further, hit the following button to try AiSchedul and manage your page efficiently.

What is Awario?

Awario is a social media and web monitoring tool that searches for your brand name and keywords. It supports Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube. It shows you where there is a talk about you and your brand. Also, you can track your competitors and see their performance. It’s like a powerful search engine that looks for your brand name in every corner of social networks and web. The strength of this monitoring tool is its performance on Twitter, which does a perfect job tracking your mentions on it. However, is it practical for Instagram too? Let’s have a look at its pros and cons.

Awario Features And Pros

  • Search and filter tools As we mentioned before, Awario searches for your keywords, and it has some tools to help you in managing them. You can see in the image that it has tools for searching in the mentions, sorting them by date, grouping and filtering them. Also, you can narrow down your search by choosing the social media you want. It can help you a lot in finding the mentions that are useful for you. However, these tools are not working flawlessly, and we will discuss in the next section. Moreover, it has an export tool that you can use to save your results. You can choose the PDF or CSV version, but these features are not available in the starter plan. The filter tool is another feature of this application, which gives you many options to find what you want. You can choose the date interval, number of mentions and even location and language.
https://preview.redd.it/rzborc8bkbo51.png?width=391&format=png&auto=webp&s=81e40e0a505e6b35e305171f998bb62062126991

https://preview.redd.it/oth8fjqdkbo51.png?width=385&format=png&auto=webp&s=5eb966b59a14c96d7e41c63ca4ae7545e377ea6f
  • Report options Another service that this platform offers is detailed reports about your mentions. You can find many helpful statistics about your audience through this feature. It provides information about:
    • The growth rate of the number of mentions
    • The gender of the mention authors
    • The countries that most of your audience are located
    • The language of the mentions
    • The gender of most of the authors
  • Helpful support Awario has a diligent support team that guides the users right to the point. Most of the users are satisfied with the quality of customer support. Although there are some complaints about not having online support, the team members do their best to help their clients.

Awario Cons

We talked about the pros, and now it’s time to discuss its cons for Instagram.
  • High prices The biggest complaint that many users have is the high prices. As we mentioned before, Awario is like a powerful search engine, but it doesn’t offer other services that Instagram users need. Many platforms provide practical assistance for Instagram users besides the mention tracking option, and their prices are lower than Awario! Also, many of its features are just available in Pro and Enterprise plans such as Data export, which is a basic option in many platforms. To have a better understanding, you should compare it to other platforms. So, we will introduce some of them in the next section.
https://preview.redd.it/02zntn8gkbo51.png?width=910&format=png&auto=webp&s=b5ce30327eca3b730aedbcbf73ed9444eca8060e
  • No special services for Instagram Instagram has many features, and Instagram users try to grow their pages by improving those. So, many platforms help their clients manage their pages by time-saving services. For example:
    • Scheduling posts
    • Scheduling stories
    • Hashtag suggestion
    • Bio link
    • But Awario doesn’t provide any of these services, and its users have to use another tool for managing their Instagram accounts.
  • Inefficient user interface Most of the users mentioned that they have problems the first time they worked with Awario. It’s not easy to find out how to work with it, and there isn’t a comprehensive tutorial about working with it too. Although they have a diligent support team that helps you with your problems, the process is time-consuming, and many users don’t appreciate it. It has a learning curve that takes time, and it’s difficult for many ones to deal with it.
  • Some filter option doesn’t work. As you know, the filter option is used to narrow the results down to what we are looking for it. However, many users claimed that the filter option, especially the language option, doesn’t work correctly. We checked it, and that’s true. The filter tool can’t distinguish between English and many other languages. This makes the user confused between lots of mentions that are not relevant, and it’s frustrating for users to deal with it.
https://preview.redd.it/lpiiivnikbo51.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=725527d64061f1e2eacfb46b6be6bd159187a603

Awario Alternatives For Instagram Users

We saw that Awario is fine as a search engine, but it’s not a suitable platform for Instagram. As we mentioned, many platforms offer more services at more affordable prices. Now let’s see some of the most practical ones.
  • AiSchedul AiSchedul is an Instagram management platform that focuses on different features of Instagram to help its clients improve their pages. It provides many features, and one of them is tracking mentions. Besides that, it offers many other Instagram services that grow the page in many ways. You can know about them better by signing up on their website and using the free trial plan. Here are some of these features:
    • Managing multiple Instagram accounts on one page
    • Track mentions
    • Scheduling posts
    • Scheduling stories with all the features
    • Hashtag suggestion tool
    • Repost your followers’ posts and stories
    • Organizing reward campaigns
    • Bio link tool
    • As you can see, AiSchedul has way more capabilities than Awario. Now let’s have a look at the prices. That’s right! The unlimited plan only costs as much as Awario’s starter plan. So, which one do you prefer?
https://preview.redd.it/rc13d6bmkbo51.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=5444443c977f23f025cae57cc48c0ba83c430b86
  • Hootsuite Hootsuite is a platform that supports various social networks such as Twitter, Facebook, etc. The notable point about Hootsuite is that you can manage all of your social accounts through one platform. It provides useful services for Instagram, such as:
    • Scheduling posts
    • Basic story scheduling
    • Mention Tracking
    • Hashtag suggestion
    • You can compare AiSchedul and Hootsuite here. Now, what about the prices? Their plans are more expensive than AiSchedul but still more worthy than Awario, but Keep in mind that Hootsuite is a multi-network platform. Also, the user interface is a bit more complicated than the previous option, but it’s unavoidable for multi-network platforms.
https://preview.redd.it/cf9mo14okbo51.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=0dc1928d7ea5c7c1e3f4e087c641bc009c81f788
  • SocialBee Another platform that supports multiple social networks is SocialBee. However, It uses third-party apps for some social networks such as Instagram and Pinterest. This platform offers various services for Instagram like:
    • Scheduling posts
    • Hashtag suggestion
    • Categorizing posts
    • Many ways to import content
    • You can read more about them here. Let’s see the prices. The prices are more cost-efficient than Hootsuite and more affordable than Awario for sure. No need to mention that it provides more useful services too.
https://preview.redd.it/3yh33oiqkbo51.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ae5c7e72196c21cce9386adbaf939f8a72cbfec7
To summarize all the said above, we don’t suggest using Awario because it offers limited services at high prices. We introduced some more affordable platforms with more capabilities. I hope you find this article helpful. Share your ideas with us in the comment section.
Good luck in improving your business.
submitted by InstagramGrowthHack to AiSchedul [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 16:33 MoreSalamander6 Situationally "depressed" due to a failed romantic pursuit, and don't know where to go from here

I don't believe I have, like, "legit" clinical depression, but I'm currently struggling really hard with this overwhelming sense of sadness and lack of energy, due to what I perceive to be a failed romantic pursuit.
So, a woman that I consider to be my closest friend, that I've known for years, recently ended the relationship she's been in for the entire time I've known her. After that happened, I began thinking about how much I like her, and I developed pretty strong feelings for her. I've been trying to not throw that at her, right now, because of the timing, but I really hoped and felt like there might eventually be a chance. And in fairness, I haven't directly "pursued" it, nor have I been outright rejected. But "reading between the lines", my perception is that she'll probably never see me in that way.
When I hung out with her recently, she did a bit of venting about the ex, but she also told me she's already started casually dating and playing around on dating apps, and chatting with guys on them. That really kind of deflated me inside. To be honest, I've never actually dated. It's always been a huge struggle for me, and I've never been able to even find a woman I really hit it off with. Part of me wishes I could casually date and chat with women, if only to get my mind off my friend. But, I've tried online dating/ dating apps multiple times, and I can't get anywhere. I get almost no matches, and then on the rare occasion I do, the girl either doesn't respond to my message, or she responds once or twice and then never again. Meanwhile, my friend has a huge list of guys beating down her door to chat her up. Which, I know, women tend to have a lot more "options". But it's still frustrating, because I can't even try to "move on", because I can't even get any other women to talk to me.
And that's why I've kind of fallen so hard for this girl. I mean, this weekend alone, she and I spent eight hours together two days in a row (so 16 hours, total), just chatting and goofing off, and the time just flew by. A few of those hours were also spent with her family, who I got along well with (though I've met them numerous times in the past, so that wasn't anything new). I've never even met a girl I could have a fun date with for an evening, let alone someone I could spend 16 hours with over the course of two days.
Like I said, in general, I don't consider myself to be "depressed" or to have clinical depression. This is more of a situational depression. I honestly just feel super deflated, and I don't want to do anything at all for the foreseeable future. I don't even want to get out of bed. Not today, not for the next several days, maybe for the next several weeks. I know, I know, "it'll get better in time". But will it really? Maybe it'll dull a bit, but "better"? I mean, realistically, within the next few months, she's going to end up in a relationship with a new guy, and I'll still be alone, and unable to find and connect with a woman. Is that really "better"? I just don't know what to do, or where to go from here.
submitted by MoreSalamander6 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 16:02 MoreSalamander6 So very situationally "depressed" due to a failed romantic pursuit, and I just don't know what to do with myself...

I don't believe I have, like, "legit" clinical depression, but I'm currently struggling really hard with this overwhelming sense of sadness and lack of energy, due to what I perceive to be a failed romantic pursuit.
So, a woman that I consider to be my closest friend, that I've known for years, recently ended the relationship she's been in for the entire time I've known her. After that happened, I began thinking about how much I like her, and I developed pretty strong feelings for her. I've been trying to not throw that at her, right now, because of the timing, but I really hoped and felt like there might eventually be a chance. And in fairness, I haven't directly "pursued" it, nor have I been outright rejected. But "reading between the lines", my perception is that she'll probably never see me in that way.
When I hung out with her recently, she did a bit of venting about the ex, but she also told me she's already started casually dating and playing around on dating apps, and chatting with guys on them. That really kind of deflated me inside. To be honest, I've never actually dated. It's always been a huge struggle for me, and I've never been able to even find a woman I really hit it off with. Part of me wishes I could casually date and chat with women, if only to get my mind off my friend. But, I've tried online dating/ dating apps multiple times, and I can't get anywhere. I get almost no matches, and then on the rare occasion I do, the girl either doesn't respond to my message, or she responds once or twice and then never again. Meanwhile, my friend has a huge list of guys beating down her door to chat her up. Which, I know, women tend to have a lot more "options". But it's still frustrating, because I can't even try to "move on", because I can't even get any other women to talk to me.
And that's why I've kind of fallen so hard for this girl. I mean, this weekend alone, she and I spent eight hours together two days in a row (so 16 hours, total), just chatting and goofing off, and the time just flew by. A few of those hours were also spent with her family, who I got along well with (though I've met them numerous times in the past, so that wasn't anything new). I've never even met a girl I could have a fun date with for an evening, let alone someone I could spend 16 hours with over the course of two days.
Like I said, in general, I don't consider myself to be "depressed" or to have clinical depression. This is more of a situational depression. I honestly just feel super deflated, and I don't want to do anything at all for the foreseeable future. I don't even want to get out of bed. Not today, not for the next several days, maybe for the next several weeks. I know, I know, "it'll get better in time". But will it really? Maybe it'll dull a bit, but "better"? I mean, realistically, within the next few months, she's going to end up in a relationship with a new guy, and I'll still be alone, and unable to find and connect with a woman. Is that really "better"? I just don't know what to do, or where to go from here.
submitted by MoreSalamander6 to self [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 15:57 MoreSalamander6 Situational "depression" due to a failed romantic pursuit. Where do I go from here?

I don't believe I have, like, "legit" clinical depression, but I'm currently struggling really hard with this overwhelming sense of sadness and lack of energy, due to what I perceive to be a failed romantic pursuit.
So, a woman that I consider to be my closest friend, that I've known for years, recently ended the relationship she's been in for the entire time I've known her. After that happened, I began thinking about how much I like her, and I developed pretty strong feelings for her. I've been trying to not throw that at her, right now, because of the timing, but I really hoped and felt like there might eventually be a chance. And in fairness, I haven't directly "pursued" it, nor have I been outright rejected. But "reading between the lines", my perception is that she'll probably never see me in that way.
When I hung out with her recently, she did a bit of venting about the ex, but she also told me she's already started casually dating and playing around on dating apps, and chatting with guys on them. That really kind of deflated me inside. To be honest, I've never actually dated. It's always been a huge struggle for me, and I've never been able to even find a woman I really hit it off with. Part of me wishes I could casually date and chat with women, if only to get my mind off my friend. But, I've tried online dating/ dating apps multiple times, and I can't get anywhere. I get almost no matches, and then on the rare occasion I do, the girl either doesn't respond to my message, or she responds once or twice and then never again. Meanwhile, my friend has a huge list of guys beating down her door to chat her up. Which, I know, women tend to have a lot more "options". But it's still frustrating, because I can't even try to "move on", because I can't even get any other women to talk to me.
And that's why I've kind of fallen so hard for this girl. I mean, this weekend alone, she and I spent eight hours together two days in a row (so 16 hours, total), just chatting and goofing off, and the time just flew by. A few of those hours were also spent with her family, who I got along well with (though I've met them numerous times in the past, so that wasn't anything new). I've never even met a girl I could have a fun date with for an evening, let alone someone I could spend 16 hours with over the course of two days.
Like I said, in general, I don't consider myself to be "depressed" or to have clinical depression. This is more of a situational depression. I honestly just feel super deflated, and I don't want to do anything at all for the foreseeable future. I don't even want to get out of bed. Not today, not for the next several days, maybe for the next several weeks. I know, I know, "it'll get better in time". But will it really? Maybe it'll dull a bit, but "better"? I mean, realistically, within the next few months, she's going to end up in a relationship with a new guy, and I'll still be alone, and unable to find and connect with a woman. Is that really "better"? I just don't know what to do, or where to go from here.
submitted by MoreSalamander6 to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 15:49 PorkSoda_0 any advice on constant drop outs with telstra? at my wits end

Hi, this is possibly my final port of call in trying to find out if even one other person in this country has experienced this issue.
We live in the Browns Plains area in QLD.
Were doing completely fine with our cable internet as a household of 2 oldies who enjoy their netflix and one online gamer, and then everything came crashing down around our heads during August of this year when we finally had to make the switch to NBN.
Timeline of events: Sorry it's a bit of a slog.
On August 7th an NBN tech comes to our house to install the new modems and switch us over, everything goes well and we have complete smooth sailing with no drop outs whatsoever for about a week. Download and upload speed, especially share play on a ps4 system, is markedly improved.
Then the drop outs start. I pull afternoon/night shift and begin to notice the broadband connection dropping at around 1pm daily. Things swiftly begin to get worse. I'm talking drop outs 5 minutes apart from 8am-8pm each day, occasionally it will work for a solid 30 minutes to an hour but soon enough they start again.
8pm onwards begins to become the only time we can use our internet, but then drop outs start happening then too. I'm talking all the way up to 4am in the morning, so it can't be an overload of too many people using it.
I take on the role of talking to telstra through their little mytelstra app chat box as theres no way in hell my 68 year old father has the patience to do it. Thus begins the month long journey of talking to 8 different telstra operators with upwards of 5 hour wait times between replies.
We go through the run around of disconnecting the modem, restarting the modem, removing all wires from the modem. None of the easy stuff works and no one I'm talking to seems to grasp the situation, I ask direct questions and am blatantly ignored. We ended up with 2 modems due to a mistake on telstras end, and I connect the spare to see if the issue was the modem itself, but drop outs happen on that as well.
We have 2 different NBN techs come physically to our house over the month of august/early september. One of them takes some readings, sends them god knows where and seems to disappear without a trace. The other guy comes in (after i pressure telstra yet again as theres been total silence on their end) and fixes the work of the orignal tech in our box outside, saying that he hadn't done it correctly. He replaces some wires. A brief ray of hope: maybe this problem is gone.
Drop outs continue to happen. Morning, middle of the day, Night, 4am. There's maybe the slightest bit of improvement but we still have days where it's basically unusable.
At this point its been about a month of me talking with telstra on every single day off i've had. I'm at the end of my rope. The last contact I had with them (until tonight) was me being dismissed by some d*ckhead who said he couldnt see any issues and that it would be fine. Lo and behold it drops out again 10 minutes later.
Another light at the end of the tunnel. Telstra sends a text message saying they've realised we're having internet troubles and that they'll be sending a team out and our service will be down from xAM to xPM on xdate. In the meantime they've switched us to their 4g network while they solve the issue.
The date comes and goes, nothing happens. Telstra sends a text saying they had to cancel, with no mention of rescheduling. I was hoping they were gonna do something to the wires in our street because at this point thats all I can think is causing this.
It's been about a week and a half since that text, daily we receive the automated text from telstra saying 'we've noticed you have issues with your internet service and have switched you to our 4g network'.
The 4g can be servicable some days, completelty unusable the next. We still experience the same drop outs.
Tonight I was given a link to a 7am-11pm text chat by my SO where I could supposedly raise our issue into a complaint. I talked to the operator and explained the entire issue. He said he would connect me to a specialist team who could help resolve our issue and that they would get in contact with me in the next 10 minutes.
That was at 7pm
It is now 11pm and no response. Messages I've sent asking whats happening have been unread.
I'm at my wits end, I'm in an ldr and we use ps4 party chat or fb call as our primary form of communication. It's becoming impossible to keep in contact with my SO as the wifi drop outs completely disconnect me from party chat or call and can happen within minutes from another, making something as simple as talking together frustrating and sometimes impossible. Not to mention my parents just want to be able to sit and binge their netflix and they cant even do that most nights.
If anyone has experienced this to ANY degree please is there any advice or solutions you can give? I'd mostly love to know if switching providers fixed your issue, every forum I look at where a person has had the same issue as us, they never come back and say what happened or what fixed the problem. (most of these posts are from 2018-2019)
Thank you for reading.
Other info: we have the telstra smart modem 2 or whatever its called and the black nbn connection box is plugged into a wall socket. I have no clue what FTTC or FTTN mean sorry for my lack of knowledge I'm a person who's technical experience caps out at turn it off and on again
submitted by PorkSoda_0 to nbn [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 15:28 Zestyclose_Hornet_80 Meeting gay men

Where do most gay men meet each other these days? I know we are in a pandemic however even before that the apps seem dead these days and its always the same faces what ever site or app you use anyway.
Have been on three of the biggest gay apps on and off since 2013 and prior to apps used to use Fitlds and Gayar. I have met in total about 10 people off Grin*r. I don't know whether its time to say and accept that online avenues are never going to be for me and just concentrate on meeting people in the real world face to face.
I am not necessarily looking for a relationship as i enjoy my independence and don't enjoy dating anyway but am so bloody sexually frustrated and would just love to meet someone of late 20s to early 40's for a fwb once the pandemic is over.
Based in the East of England and there is not a lot for gay or bisexual men. Moving away is not a current option.
submitted by Zestyclose_Hornet_80 to AskGaybrosOver30 [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 15:23 MoreSalamander6 Situationally "depressed", due to a failed romantic pursuit

I don't believe I have, like, "legit" depression, so I don't want to step on the toes of anyone having real struggles. But I'm currently struggling really hard with this overwhelming sense of sadness and lack of energy, due to what I perceive to be a failed romantic pursuit.
So, a woman that I consider to be my closest friend, that I've known for years, recently ended the relationship she's been in for the entire time I've known her. After that happened, I started began thinking about how much I like her, and I developed pretty strong feelings for her. I've been trying to not throw that at her, right now, because of the timing, but I really hoped and felt like there might eventually be a chance. And in fairness, I haven't directly "pursued" it, nor have I been outright rejected. But "reading between the lines", my perception is that she'll probably never see me in that way.
When I hung out with her recently, she did a bit of venting about the ex, but she also told me she's already started casually dating and playing around on dating apps, and chatting with guys on them. That really kind of deflated me inside. To be honest, I've never actually dated. It's always been a huge struggle for me, and I've never been able to even find a woman I really hit it off with. Part of me wishes I could casually date and chat with women, if only to get my mind off my friend. But, I've tried online dating/ dating apps multiple times, and I can't get anywhere. I get almost no matches, and then on the rare occasion I do, the girl either doesn't respond to my message, or she responds once or twice and then never again. Meanwhile, my friend has a huge list of guys beating down her door to chat her up. Which, I know, women tend to have a lot more "options". But it's still frustrating, because I can't even try to "move on", because I can't even get any other women to talk to me.
And that's why I've kind of fallen so hard for this girl. I mean, this weekend alone, she and I spent eight hours together two days in a row (so 16 hours, total), just chatting and goofing off, and the time just flew by. A few of those hours were also spent with her family, who I got along well with (though I've met them numerous times in the past, so that wasn't anything new). I've never even met a girl I could have a fun date with for an evening, let alone someone I could spend 16 hours with over the course of two days.
Like I said, in general, I don't consider myself to be "depressed" or to have clinical depression. This is more of a situational depression. I honestly just feel super deflated, and I don't want to do anything at all for the foreseeable future. I don't even want to get out of bed. Not today, not for the next several day, maybe for the next several weeks. I know, I know, "it'll get better in time". Rather, I think it'll just "dull out" in time. I don't know about "better". I mean, realistically, within the next few months, she's going to end up in a relationship with a new guy, and I'll still be alone, and unable to find and connect with a woman. So, I don't really know how that will be "better".
submitted by MoreSalamander6 to depression [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 12:17 thrwawayhair Don't know where to go from here

When the pandemic started I welcomed it, it was a break from a life I was tired of, I had several bad experiences with my health, a girlfriend (now ex) who cut me off because of my health problems, and a job that I hated but had to stay in for money and stability while my health suffered.
Since then my health has recovered, I have been eating healthy, exercising 2-3 times a week, doing my absolute best, I lost a lot of weight and look better. Yet nothing is changing, I feel no satisfaction whatsoever and have nothing to look forward to. I love exercising but it offers only a temporary relief.
I'm still stuck in the same job I hate, no one is hiring right now and none of the jobs I'm interested in will give me an interview. I have no friends anymore in this region, I don't know if it's me getting turning 30 or just me being fed up and irritated, but it seems I can't make friends anymore and have no patience, and the pandemic certainly doesn't help.
I can't remember the last time I met someone from the opposite sex, I can't remember the last time a girl smiled at me. Online dating is absolutely miserable and doesn't work, I worked hard on improving my profile and pictures, I messaged/swiped thousands and thousands of profiles, 99% don't reply and the rest just flake/play games once I ask them out, it's so frustrating. Yet I don't know how to meet girls outside, with everyone wearing masks+sunglasses, people being 500% more defensive about their personal space, and most foreigners leaving to wait out the pandemic at home (I'm a foreigner and local women don't look at me as a dating option, never had luck with them, only with other foreigners).I'm anti-porn and have always been, I have an addictive personality, yet I learned to control myself over the years and avoid addictive substances/activites because I know how quickly I can fall down the hole, yet it leaves me with a lot of frustration and a lot of energy which has no release.
I'm an immigrant in this country but I've come to hate it and hate the locals because of the way it treats foreigners, still I have to stay and work here for at least a few more years to get the nationality, which will open up many doors for me, leaving is not even an option.
I managed to keep myself busy for a while, taking care of my health, and focusing on hobbies. But I'm tired, it's not that I don't enjoy my hobbies anymore, but they're all computer-based and I'm fed up and don't want to stay inside. I'm constantly irritated and dread monday morning. I feel like everywhere I look to, everyone just wants to take me for a ride, waste my time and take my money. I feel like everyone just wants things from me but nothing more.
I just wanted to get this all off my chest, I just want all this frustration to end. I can't remember the last time I woke up excited. I can't remember the last time I had a genuinely fulfilling conversation with someone or felt any kind of connection. With every passing day my frustrations and bitterness grow and I'm worried it's visible on my face (developing a kind of RBF) which causes a kind of feedback loop making the whole thing worse.
submitted by thrwawayhair to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 06:24 jokimsfavoritetank Identifying as a transbian

I don't know if this is the right place to post this
So i recently accepted that yeah I'm trans and not just Enby. I'm not out and life is fucked because of the pandemic (lost job and apartment and had to move back in with phobic family). I feel like I shouldn't claim to be a lesbian even online as I'm still closeted to all but like 3 people. I don't want to pursue a relationship with anyone because that's going to put them in a weird position, and what am I gonna do? Screen women based on will they date a man that's a woman but not really? It's frustrating and confusing
submitted by jokimsfavoritetank to actuallesbians [link] [comments]


ONLINE DATING ON ROBLOX IS FRUSTRATING What Most Guys Are Getting Wrong With Online Dating The Frustrations of Online Dating A Weird Tip for Online Dating That Works!  Mat Boggs ... Single Women Share Their Dating and Rejection Horror ... Dating: Red Flags and Frustrations The frustrations of online dating

How I Fought Online Dating Frustration & Found Love ...

  1. ONLINE DATING ON ROBLOX IS FRUSTRATING
  2. What Most Guys Are Getting Wrong With Online Dating
  3. The Frustrations of Online Dating
  4. A Weird Tip for Online Dating That Works! Mat Boggs ...
  5. Single Women Share Their Dating and Rejection Horror ...
  6. Dating: Red Flags and Frustrations
  7. The frustrations of online dating

The dating game is full of frustration and affects both parties in different ways. In this episode, Arden and Christian discuss common dating frustrations from both a guy and a girl’s perspective. Subscribe to As/Is: https://bzfd.it/2QaN0dR About As/Is: Subscribe for daily videos & series about beauty, fashion, style, body positivity, women’s experienc... Dating can be exhausting all by itself, and online dating use to seem so simple. Yet the randoms are taking over the internet!!! Watch out for the signs before getting involved with one... In this video I online date in roblox and notice how frustrating and stressful it can be. This is just for video purposes! I do not actually online date in Roblox nor do I recommend you to do so ... The Long Game helps single men 30+ achieve the dating success they want, without endless frustration. FREE training on how to make your online dating profile go viral: https://datingabundance.com ... Get More Great Tips - SUBSCRIBE! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSNdh3JaCS6OqNyJqUWIs2w?sub_confirmation=1 FREE eBook Click Here: http://bit.ly/2iyx5FA Whe... Why Online Dating Is Discouraging and Frustrating for Women - Online Dating Advice & Tips - Duration: 13:07. Get Game Group Dating Coaching for Men and Women 139 views